I (33f) met a homeless woman around a year ago, she was hanging around outside a super market asking for coins. She approached me and I told her I don’t carry money but I can get her something. She looked very uncomfortable and said she just needed money for a place to sleep tonight and she had a bank account. I thought fk it, why not. So I got her acc details and we got chatting, apparently her partner got killed in a hit and run, she lost the house and she has been waiting for over a year for accommodation. I wired her some money, gave her a hug and went on my way.
Now, I’m not an idiot, this whole story could have been fabricated to get money but the way I see it, if she’s hanging around begging for money, looking rough as anything, she’s in a tough place whatever the reason. I’m not too hard up financially and it feels nice to think I’m helping someone. So every now and then I wire this random person a little money with a message like "I hope you’re doing better" etc. I have no idea who this woman is, where she is or what she’s doing. Nothing.
My partner (35m) of nearly 5 years saw this on my online banking appearing every now and then and questioned it. I reminded him of that homeless woman I met and that I was giving her a little sometimes because it just felt good. His dad recently passed away from cancer and we are making cut backs so we can financially support his mother back in Hungary a little, he claims that we cant afford to do that and he is outraged. He also doesnt believe thats what it is, claiming "no one does that" and thinks im hiding something. I have no way of proving it. To keep this short, here is the context
– we have completely separate finances
-we live quite comfortably
-we split everything 50/50
-as far as I know, his mother is doing fine
-my laptop had my bank account up, he wasn’t snooping
-it’s around £10-£20 each time
-we have around £300 a month left each month after paying everything and sending his mother money.
Tldr: aita for sending money to a random homeless woman every couple of months when my partner and I are making cut backs to financially support his mother?
NTA you’re a kind soul, yeah there are scammers, but personally I think you’ve done a great deed, may the universe send you the same kindness in return!
That’s so lovely, thank you. Made me tear up a little 🥹
NTA.
You have separate finances and you are not married.
It is none of his business what you spend money on.
NTA
AND why are going to financially support his mom? You aren’t married. (Hope OP sees this.)
NTA, you money, your choice. why is your partner dictating you? even if you’re sending money to a scammer, it’s still your choice to make.
why it’s ok for him to help his mom, but it’s not ok for you to help a stranger?
NTA.
NTA, and you seem like a kind person. However I do think you are being scammed.
It’s your money and the amount you send is low. It’s actually none of his business since this was from your own account. If you are pitching in to help his mother then no NTA.
NTA. I understand where you’re coming from. I don’t give very often, but when I do it’s £10 or £20. I feel like that amount makes a real difference to someone’s day in a way that takes the pressure off a little bit,
Exactly! That money can get them a nice warm meal, or a sleeping bag. It’s nothing to me but to someone like that, it just makes their life so much more bearable.
Or, honestly, it can get them a 10bag or a few cans or whatever they want without needing to scratch around all day, I’m not going to judge
Oh yeah dude, exactly that. If weed/alcohol makes their life that bit more bearable, then why the hell not.
NTA.
Your money, your choice. Those few pounds every so often probably mean more to that person than you’ll ever know. May the universe fill your life with light and love for this kindness.