I can’t even tell anymore if I’m being irrational or not. When asked, my answer is the same every single time. The question is vapid and pointless. If I thought they should know something, I’d say it unprovoked and I’ve verbally explained this multiple times already and have been completely disregarded. Either they don’t stop or they toe the line by rewording the question as if I can’t see what they are doing. ("What are you thinking?", "How are you feeling?", etc.) Seems innocuous…until you have to answer it every single time you see a person. I don’t know whether I should be mad at the question or that they disregard my request for them to quit it. I don’t even know if it’s reasonable for me to tell them to quit it. And it’s starting to feel like they are asking exclusively to ease their own anxiety than to ensure I’m actually ok.
I’ve blown up on someone once for it and I don’t know if I’m justified. Since then, I just try to view our relationship as strictly transactional. I develop a low energy canned response for them to give them the verbal affirmation they need in exchange for __________. It helps get me through the moment but I just wish they’d stop especially when I tell them to. I frequently get told that I’m hard to read and my attempts to be more animated has not put a dent in the number of people who insist I’m hard to read. At this point, I wonder if everyone is lying to me to get me to spell out my every thought. I’m not a secretive person, like at all. It seems pretty ridiculous to believe a bunch of unrelated people would all say the same thing coincidentally but it’s sure feeling that way. What would you do?
Edit:
1. Multiple people do this with me. Spouse, friends, coworkers, strangers, etc.
2. It’s not just a greeting. They’ll ask halfway through the day, in the middle of hanging out, after they’ve already said hello how are you, and such. I’ll be just sitting there or standing there listening to people talk or doing my own thing and suddenly "You OK?", "What’s wrong?", "What are you thinking?", etc.
3. When I ask them why they keep asking, they always respond "just making sure." Nothing earth shattering is happening around me and if so, they wouldn’t have been notified of it so they have no reason to suspect something is wrong.
4. Trying to smile more and be more animated makes absolutely no difference in whether they question if something is wrong and them claiming I’m hard to read. So if I do have RBF, that’s not the reason anyway.
I mean I guess it depends on WHY they’re asking you if you’re okay. If it’s something horrible like your entire family passed away or you’re going through cancer treatment, it’s quite common for people to wonder how you’re doing. Especially when your answers are likely “I’m fine” or other simple 2-6 word responses.
Sincerely, you should get tested for autism.
Your need to reframe it. It’s not an actual enquiry that needs an actual answer. It’s a greeting to begin an interaction.
Just go with the same “yeah yep” neutral response and then move to the actual conversation.
And maybe find out what’s making you angry about it. Is it that you know it’s not a sincere ask, and they don’t actually care, is it that sometimes you aren’t “ok” but feel forced to pretend otherwise. Or is it more general unhappiness and dissatisfaction bleed over.
Are you neuro-divergent? There is a reason multiple people ask you this on the regular. Maybe, sit down and ask them why they ask you that? Then tell them, you are fine. Tell them When they continuously ask you this, they are implying there is something wrong with you and your behavior. This is just the way you are. Ask them why they ask you this? What in your demeanor makes them need to ask you this? You really need to get to the root of the problem to put an end to this. Also, make sure the people asking you all the time are not doing it just to provoke you. Not enough context to make a a-hole judgment.
If you are in a hospital a Doctor or Nurse will ask you how you are feeling when they visit. If you are talking about people you work with or family asking then walking around with a face like thunder will also get that question thrown at you.
I think personally you don’t like interacting with people and it visibly shows hence people saying it as they are not sure what else to say to you.
‘I’ve blown up on someone once for it’
For being asked if your okay?
I don’t think you’re okay bro.
INFO: To me, I’m lacking an understanding of why they’re asking so much and maybe you are too. The way I see it, it could be for a lot of reasons: maybe you’ve had a history of mental health issues (I.E. attempting to off yourself or others, self harm, outbursts, episodes), addiction history, or some things like one person said already but even a less extreme of just a single loss of a family member or friend, just grief in general. At least, those are all reasons I would check up on a family member/friend so frequently. If you don’t have any of those issues then I suggest sitting down one by one with each person when they ask you and really try to have a genuine conversation and try to get an understanding on why they are so persistent.
Where I live it’s just a form of social greeting / interaction. Nobody’s actually asking you how you feel.
It’s social etiquette, calm down
Are you ok?
Are you ok though? Blowing up at someone for what is a normal question hmmm. I think it’s important to check on people’s mental health and wellness, everytime any family see me they ask are you ok and vice versa
Are you absolutely sure this isn’t just a regular *”Hey, how you doing?”* greeting?
Since you seem to be having this ‘problem’ with multiple people and you’re the common factor it’s more likely that you’re somehow the problem than that everyone around you is weirdly inquisitive about the actual state of your health.
Either you’re giving a whole load of people genuine cause for concern or you’re misinterpreting verbal filler as a real interrogation.
You don’t give any context. Is this at work? Have you gone through a difficult period in your life? Are you just antisocial or are you on the spectrum?
You’re being irrational
YTA