Hi all, I (F17) was joking around with my brother (M24) and it got blown out of proportion.
My brother was standing in the hallway purposely blocking me from going to my parents’ room so I said “Move” and when he didn’t move, I tried to budge past him. I know I didn’t say it in the most polite way ever but for context, we both talk and act like this with each other so I didn’t see an issue. I would say he’s the one who goes out of his way to annoy me while I just do my own thing. He then snatched my phone from me and told me to apologise, again thinking he was joking I brushed it off. He locked me in my room and said you can’t come out until you apologise. I was so confused because he’s never acted like this. My dad then unlocked the door and I went to go get my phone from him. Again, he told me I had to apologise but I refused – I know this is stubborn but I didn’t see this as a situation to be apologising over and thought he was overreacting. Of course if I did something way more serious I would have apologised. It just felt like he was trying to parent me and it honestly felt kinda degrading for me to apologise over something so small.
My parents then were on his side saying I went too far and made him angry, which made me annoyed because if it was roles reversed, I would be getting called too sensitive. Eventually, I had to cave and apologised for being “rude”.
Please do tell me if I was being rude because I don’t think I was. It really did seem like our playful banter of teasing each other but at the end of it, it just left a weird feeling.
I just want to add further context that my brother does have anger issues and has in the past blown up in my face over something so small as not grabbing a plate for him.
Thank you for reading.
NTA. Your brother has anger issues, you said it yourself. Locking you in your room over something this trivial? He needs help. And possibly to grow up. If I were your parents I wouldn’t be the most comfortable having him in the house.
Your door locks from the outside? NTA, you need to change that lock ASAP so no one can get locked in.
If you bedroom door locks from the outside something is really wrong with your home. At a minimum it is a fire hazard. It is also weird and creepy.
Yeah it’s been like this since we moved in and it hasn’t been changed. It’s even worse when my family just casually open the door when I’m inside knowing I want privacy and can’t lock it myself.
> and it hasn’t been changed
Time to change it then. Do you know where the screwdrivers are kept?
It’s hard to really judge your family situation based on the little bit of information here, but things seem weird to me. You should be planning your life so you have the option of moving out at 18, which is going to be hard. I wish you well.
NTA. The next time your brother locks you in a room, call the police and tell them that you are being held against your will by your brother, that you have no access to food/water/bathroom facitlites and that the adults in the home are not dealing with the situation. That’s false imprisonment.
He took her phone away
NTA and as soon as you’re able I hope you move out, this whole situation gives me the ick red flags everywhere from your family, you’ll have to move out and limit contact until they are willing to listen to your boundaries and respect you as a person not someone less than that they can take things from and control. I’m genuinely worried about your home life and your health if this is how they all re regularly treat you
Huge NTA. You did literally nothing and he fucking assaulted you. Hell no
NTA
Your brother was being a jerk and intentionally blocking the way and then wanted you to be a polite little angel begging the crown to please be so kind as to let you pass? Screw that. Manners are important, but they’re also a two-way street. I’ll say thank you for handing me something I asked for, not if you unexpectedly throw it at me; and I’ll say excuse me if you’re unaware you’re in the way, not if you’re intentionally blocking me. Those are house rules. If you’re being a jerk, you forfeit any right to expect politeness.
Your brother sounds like a future abuser.
Maybe it’s from growing up in a home where doors lock from the outside and where your parents say it’s your fault for “making him angry.”
NTA.
The brother sounds like he is currently an abuser – of his 17 year old minor child sister
Your brother’s behavior is alarming, and it sounds like a pattern of manipulation. Being locked in your room isn’t appropriate, no matter the context. It’s clear this sort of “playful” interaction has crossed serious boundaries. Learn to recognize when someone oversteps and stand firm; don’t let anyone treat you like that again.