So I (23m) went out to a club the day before thanksgiving with one of my best friends and his cousin he lives with. I’ve gone out with the 3 of them before for Halloween
For backstory, my gf (20f) is never jealous or nothing of the sort. She doesn’t bug about knowing where I’m going or who I’m with or what I do, very nonchalant. She also knows I went out with them for Halloween and I told her I was going out with the before thanksgiving as well
And while at the club I danced a bunch with my best friend, just me and him, me and him danced together with his cousin, and when he was wandering and talking to girls I’d just dance with his cousin a bit
It was not any sort of intimate or weird dance at all (it was cumbia for anyone who knows). And the next day I told my gf about dancing with my friend and she was like “why not dance with the cousin?” And I said I did and the 3 of us did together as well
Then she asked “why don’t u have her show u how to dance?” And I said I did ask if she could and she said yeah. And I told my gf that I’d like to dance with her (my gf) but that she always said she wouldn’t have the patience to teach me lol, so I thought it would be nice to have a friend to teach me
And I told her that my friend’s cousin, since they live together, she’s like one of the guys in our friend group
But then she got mad and was like “when u gonna introduce her to your mom?” And “did u invite her to thanksgiving too?” And now doesn’t wanna talk to me
NTA. A dance is nothing.
Ty for your input kind person 🫶
I wouldn’t really say you’re an asshole. Something else might be going on that’s upsetting her, or she might be more generally jealous than you know and just hide it, or she’s picturing it as something more intimate than just casually dancing with a friend. From your perspective, of course she’s overreacting and personally I think so too, but she’s the only one that knows why this bugs her so much. Give her some time to cool off if she’s not ready to talk and find out more about where she’s coming from.
I will say that she would know it wasn’t intimate cuz I told her the type of music we were dancing to and it’s not like intimate dancing music if that makes sense and she knows that
And she also knows I really can’t dance at all so if anything I’d think she’d imagine me moving awkward if anything 😂
NTA. And now you can’t say your gf doesn’t get jealous. She does. Talk it out with her.
You did everything right. Everyone gets a bit jealous sometimes and it’ll pass.
NTA but it sounds like you’d probably have a better time with the cousin than current gf. So maybe that is actually some good advice from her?
😂, maybe u got a fair point there lol
I don’t think you’re TA. I think your girlfriend is being a little controlling here. Have there been other signs that she’s controlling? It maybe that she’s too young and immature for this relationship.
Here’s the thing and why it’s so out of left field, she never bugs about ANYTHING like jealousy wise
Like for example not too long ago I went to the theatre to watch a movie by myself, late at night, and it was subtitled so I texted her saying I might be busy for a hour or 2 so I probably won’t be able to reply
And at that point I hadn’t even told her I was at the movies (cuz I knew how she is and that she wouldn’t mind either way). And I feel like most gf’s in that scenario when their bf is texting them late at night that they’re gonna be busy and not able to text would maybe be a little suspicious
Or other times she’s known I’ve gone to the movies late at night and alone and she’s never once been like “r u really alone? Why would u wanna go alone that’s weird 🤨”
Or anything of the sort
NTA – Oh this feels like a classic case of not reading the room friend. I think you might be a little more oblivious to your girlfriend and her feelings than you think you are.
Firstly, it’s sad that your gf says that she would be too impatient to teach you to dance. So YOU did the logical thing and just asked someone else at a convenient time to do it. Idk why your gf wasn’t at these events but anyone could have felt left out even if they didn’t necessarily need to go.
She probably wanted to be able to do that with you but now you’ve asked some other girl. It’s no longer this brief fantasy of her teaching you and it bringing you closer as a couple. Now she just sees you with your friends cousin who had the patience (unlike her) to do these things and saw how happy it made you. Now she’s jealous. Now she is upset probably with herself and doesn’t even get it.
And I’m sure you’re confused as heck because nothing untowards happened with the cousin and your gf “never acts jealous” *internal eye roll*.
Be mindful of praise that brings comparisons. But also your gf needs to kinda get over herself because this is directly her insecurities.
Good luck, try to talk it out or wait for things to calm down. You’re not a jerk maybe just not noticing some things
She was working every time me and my other 2 friends have gone out, but also tbh it wouldn’t interest her anyway lol. She’s like awkward with new people and doesn’t care too much about meeting my friends so she wouldn’t have wanted to go anyway
And she was 100% fr when she said she wouldn’t have the patience to teach me 😭. She says sometimes I run out her patience as is lmao. And she’s not the super sentimental type to think “oh it would’ve brought us closer together”, she’s not the mushy sentimental type either lol