I (25M) went over to my brother’s place (He’s 30 wih two kids) last weekend. His house is usually what you’d expect for someone with young kids – toys everywhere especially on the main table. The countertops fill up with mail etc.
He also has a few odd jobs around the house I know he’s been wanting to get sorted like a lightbulb that’s out etc. I’ve helped him with a few in the past but our schedules don’t often line up.
Last weekend I show up and it is nice and tidy. Not perfect but a noticeable improvement. I said something like "Hey, the place is looking really good!" and didn’t get much of a response.
Later he texts me he’s annoyed because he took it as me saying his house is usually a mess. He said he wants to keep it better but it’s hard with kids and work etc.
I told him I meant it as a compliment but he really doesn’t seem to have taken it as one.
AITA? What should I do next time?
NTA. Next time don’t make any comment at all.
NTA. Sounds innocent enough, this one’s on him.
NTA, but now that you know he’s insecure about it probably don’t comment on it again
“He said he wants to keep it better, but its hard with kids etc” ~ I know, and it is better. Good job!
NTA- The house probably did look a mess most of the time and that is completely fine and normal, no one expects the home of someone with young kids to be spotless!
It sounds like the mess was bothering him more than he was letting on and he ended up reading into your comment way too deeply. He could also just be getting worn thin dealing with two kids and being quick to lash out as a result
In the future maybe just be careful about making these kinds of comments but it really did just sound like you were trying to compliment him
NTA.
Your thin-skinned brother needs to chill. Instead of being offended, he could just as easily have been encouraged by your positive comment. But he chose to take offense. You did nothing wrong.
Confucius say, “He who takes offense when none is intended is a fool. He who takes offense when offense is intended is a bigger fool.”
NTA
saying goes cleaning the house while the kids are growing is like shoveling snow while its still snowing
It ain’t easy keeping house when you’ve young kids, he probably feels a bit touchy, this Will pass
Yeah, this really happened
r/nothingeverhappens
NTA. Your don’t have to do anything. Your brother has issues.
NTA. Your brother is being too sensitive.
NTA. No good deed goes unpunished.
Soft YTA because you clearly didn’t mean it as criticism, but commenting on the condition of people’s homes or ontheir appearance is always fraught. You need to consider how the person could take your comment because they can’t read your mind on how you mean them to take it. If it’s a sensitive topic the wise course is to keep your opinion to yourself. For example do you have a history of commenting on the mess? Or comparing his home to the homes of people with no children or older children? Do you take it upon yourself to ‘tidy up’ when you visit?