This is the second time this year my brother has asked me for money since he’s a couple months behind on his mortgage.
Earlier this year I said no, just as a policy to never lend family money, and the very next weekend he went skiing anyway.
Anyway he’s asking again. I know he has a gambling problem. And he just went on vacation just a week ago and was telling me about some bad sports gambling beats he just had this week. And then asked me for money for his mortgage, and laid the guilt pretty thick saying “my kids deserve a roof over their heads”. And “you have investments”, “get off your high horse this one time”
Context on my situation is I’ve recently been laid off and have a new born baby we’re using savings to spend a bunch of time with him before getting back into the job market.
I also discovered my parents have given them money twice this past year a significant amount that should theoretically be up to a 7 months of his mortgage.
I’ve decided to not enable a gambler or his bad decisions. But still hold some guilt over if his house gets foreclosed on and his three kids are out of a home, but I don’t think money here helps his problem, even though he’s sure he’s just “down on his luck” AITA?
NTA he wants your money to gamble it he can go to your parents if need be and they can bail him out
NTA.
“I agree, your kids deserve a roof over their heads. So why are you gambling away the money for it, then?”
“Don’t worry bro, your kids will have a roof over their heads, I’ll see to that. You on the other hand … “
NTA. You need to keep a roof over your own head and take care of your own family. Giving it to your brother won’t help him in the long run and until he gets help for his gambling I wouldn’t even think about giving him a dime. Not your problem to fix.
NTA. Your sibling has a gambling problem. Rather than help him, your parents are enabling his behaviors. You are not.
1) Gambling problem
2) Goes on expensive vacations despite being unable to pay the mortgage
3) “this one time”
4) You have a baby and you have been laid off
In what UNIVERSE would it be a good idea to give this guy any money?? He’ll bleed you and any other suckers dry and then default on the mortgage anyway.
NTA unless you give him money.
NTA. You’re literally laid off with a newborn. He doesn’t want help, he wants money to gamble with. Your parents already gave him months of mortgage payments and he’s still asking, Not your problem.
Even if OP had a high-paying job and no baby – he’s NTA refusing to give his brother money.
Don’t give him money. Ever.
While his kids deserve a roof over their heads it seems clear that providing it is not a priority in his spending. Never lend money to family if you can’t afford to never get it back. In this instance it seems clear you would never get it back. NTA and continue to say no.
NTA, his kids do deserve a roof over their head but perhaps he won’t stop gambling until his children don’t have a roof anymore. Enabling an addict isnt helping and laying on the guilt trip is intentional he is banking on your love for your nieces. Its hard but you’re doing the right thing. His poor financial situation is not your responsibility to fix especially with a new baby and relying on your own savings.
NTA. Your parents will end up taking him in. He hasn’t told you anything about how he plans to stop gambling. It is an addiction and he will need help to stop. Until that happens, you would be throwing your money away. And ‘get off your high horse’?! You made the right decision earlier, and you’re making the right one now.
NTA. Maybe instead of going on vacation, he should have used that money that he spent on gambling and vacation to pay his mortgage and buy food for his family!
As somebody who used to have a gambling habit and eventually broke it , don’t fucking give him your money !