We started a diy bathroom Reno a week ago and day two, my leg fell through the hole where the drain was removed and I fractured my upper humerus in the right shoulder (also right handed) along with a knarly leg bruise. My partner is doing all of the Reno work and I planned to be the “helper” – basically get things, hand things, help wherever needed. I’m not able to do much now with a shoulder injury in regard to the actual Reno. I’m managing with daily tasks like getting dressed, fixing my hair, keeping the house picked up, making crockpot meals that are easy one handed or warming left overs, and taking care of the animals – so I don’t ask him for help since I know he is overwhelmed with the Reno. Please believe, everything is a pain in the ass one handed. This morning I was told that they dont feel appreciated for all the work they are doing bc I wasn’t really wanting to run around to stores with them this morning and I didn’t WANT to make their dinner last night – we had party pizzas. i was contemplating trying to get to the grocery store but hesitant bc I wasn’t sure if it would be a huge pain in the ass. I feel like I have been managing silently since the injury happened but still end up being the asshole bc I’m also not helping or just being around while they are doing the Reno. Am I the asshole??
Not an asshole but doing it silently is wrong. Have a real conversation about how much pain you’re in and you would love to help out more and how grateful you are about them doing it all right now
I don’t understand how you could even think you’re the asshole. The only asshole is anyone expecting you to do work with a fractured shoulder.
NTA
Oh man. Home renovations are a strain even in ideal circumstances. NTA. You broke your arm/shoulder for goodness sake!!
**NTA y**ou have a **fractured shoulder** and you’re still cooking simple meals, caring for pets, and keeping the house going one-handed. That’s already a lot. Your partner being stressed about the reno is understandable, but it’s not fair for them to act like you’re not helping just because you can’t run errands or stand around while injured. You got hurt during the reno. You’re healing. You’re still contributing.
No, you have to be reasonable! I was scheduled to help a friend move house, but then I needed an emergency appendectomy the week before. So I was removed from the “carrying furniture” team and reassigned to the “keep an eye on the kids” team (all older kids, no babies that needed carrying). You need to adapt to fit your circumstances.
NTA. A bone fracture doesn’t heal overnight, and that should be common sense I would think. Do they just not believe you are actually injured? Show them the X ray again? Did the clinic send you home with any printed instructions on how to care for your injuries? Maybe show them that as well if they don’t believe you.
They went with me to urgent care. Saw the whole thing happen.
They sound a little self absorbed here, NGL
NTA. You have broken freaking bones and they’re upset they aren’t “being appreciated for all the work they’re doing”?! Yeesh.
>I’m managing with daily tasks like getting dressed, fixing my hair, keeping the house picked up, making crockpot meals that are easy one handed or warming left overs, and taking care of the animals
You’re a hero, NTA.
>I feel like I have been managing silently since the injury happened
But stop being silent about it.
NTA
You physically can’t do these things right now. You should be moving it as little as possible. You’re not even a week out from having broken it!
The fact that you are still functioning pretty well and are providing still is pretty good.
I’ve done the one handed thing and yes doing everything takes twice as long and is twice as difficult.
NTA, but don’t assume that he fully understands how painful your condition is. It should be super obvious, but unfortunately, you have a partner who can’t see past his own plate when his is full. He is the AH for that.
Take it easy on yourself so that you heal up properly without reinjuring yourself. Pizzas and takeout are perfectly fine, and if he wants home-cooked, he can do it himself for both of you.
NTA, not at all! Good heavens, you have a fractured humerus and a badly bruised knee. What does your partner expect you to do? Time to voice your feelings out loud. Tell your partner to call a friend/family member to help with the renovations. Expecting you to do even more than you’re already doing is ridiculous.
NTA. Studies have shown that men leave their wives/partners who have a chronic illness in much greater numbers than women who have an ill male partner. He is showing how he will treat you in the future if you get really sick. Be prepared