We’re college students, in a relationship since 2 years. Our holidays started last week, it will be till Jan first week. We planned that she will stay at my home for 1 week, as my house is nearer and she has never visited.
My dad is a Retired District Judge (she knows). Generally, Judges don’t have a good reputation here, but as far as I know and love my dad, he’s an awesome man. It was a decent paying job + he inherited some wealth from grandpa, hence my parents have built a nice home (above average).
She was fascinated by the exteriors, and the first thing she said to me was "Looks like your dad has earned a lot above his paygrade" basically she said that my dad took a lot of bribes. She said it lightly, but I felt highly offended and I clearly stated told her that.
Instead of apologizing, she again lightly said that "only the thief gets easily offended" which did the exact job of sprinkling salt over the burn. This time I got totally pissed, I’m showing passive agression now. She’s aware of everything but acting like I’m extremely over reacting here AITAAA
NTA. She sounds obnoxious.
NTA. While the first comment COULD have been meant as a light hearted joke, her doubling down instead of apologizing for upsetting you makes her TA. not you.
You shouldn’t be passive-aggressive on purpose, but her whole behaviour here is really shitty.
NTA but your gf is
NTA for being offended that someone you love and respect is having shade thrown on them by someone who doesn’t seem to know your dad, has negative preconceptions about who he is, and doesn’t respect him enough for benefit of doubt.
What she said was tacky and hurtful. It’s really up to you how you handle the situation, whether you stay with her or move on. But no, NTA
NTA. This is the 1st time she visits your family’s house and she calls your father corrupt and then doubles down on it? She’s definitely TA. I’m American, so from my perspective this would also be highly offensive.
NTA but I know if I were in your shoes and she was making those jabs at me, I would be firmly recommending she goes and finds somewhere else to spend the Christmas holidays. She is an asshole.
Ya’ll are getting too hung up on your own personal feelings about judges and legal systems. Is it possible OP’s dad is corrupt? Sure. But implying your SO’s dad is corrupt, and that’s why you had a nice life, is obviously going to be offensive? Like what? Have some tact people, and don’t insult your SO’s parents without a really good reason.
NTA
NTA “Only the thief gets easily offended” is such bullshit.
Right? “If you’re innocent, me falsely accusing you wouldn’t upset you”. What dumb logic is that?
He should accuse her of cheating and when she gets offended tell her the same thing.
Who goes to someone’s house, looks around and says, “Gee, this place looks way more expensive than what your pay grade should be able to afford. Wanna explain that?”
NTA
Right?
Especially if they are hosting you.
If you are concerned that they are corrupt, leave. Don’t be hosted from the profits of their corruption.
100%. She knew he was a judge before
arriving. Looks like she just wants to stir up drama and take a holier than though approach to things.
My mom and I moved into a house 35 years ago. Since then, the neighborhood has become extremely affluent. I am very fortunate to still live in this house with my average job. But people think I’m stupid rich because of where I live. I’m not rich, I just moved here as a kid when it was an undeveloped average neighborhood. I’d be highly offended if someone accused me of being a criminal or something to be able to afford this house.