My boyfriend is moving in in 1-2 months and he has moved all his stuff in early as his room is small and he only really goes home to sleep at nights.(We are medium distance and live 2 hours away so only see each other when off from work). For the first 2 weeks that he had his pc in my room I was allowed to use it and would use it a lot whilst he wasn’t over. Whilst he wasn’t here a few problems happened with the pc like the headphones stopped working, the mouse is stiff, the apps icons changed from the pictures to some weird icon and the wire connecting the monitor to the pc is a bit weird and stops working sometimes. My boyfriend blames me for all of them other then the wire because thats the only thing that stopped working whilst he was using it. I only accept that the app icons was my fault because I was downloading sims 4 cc onto an external hard drive that i had bought (with his permission) and something went wrong and he told me what to do to fix it but I followed exactly what he said to do. I understand completely how it looks but I am extremely convinced that everything other than the app icons is simply just because the pc has just been collecting dust and not getting used for over a year and then suddenly it’s getting used lots which it’s not used to. We have had countless arguments over this and I have bougbt him new headphones but he is saying I should buy him a new mouse and has changed the password word and said I am not at all allowed to use it anymore. I think it’s unfair. AITA??
Apologies if this is not allowed I read the rules and it said about no relationships if it would result in a break up and we are absolutely not going to break up over this at all. Also apologies for my terrible writing skills.
I wouldn’t move in together if you’re already fighting. This is a stupid argument because yes the computer had issues that probably existed before you played with it. The best you can do is help pay for a pc cleaning and meet in the middle, or not move in together.
I don’t know if you’re necessarily the AH, but he isn’t either.
ESH
As a gamer who loves my computer, and have expensive equipment, I wouldn’t let anyone use it. My husband and I have always had our own computers. It’s like a cell phone, it’s very personal.
I would say buy your own PC and then you can set it up how you want, and download what you want and that way it will elimiate arguments over who broke what.
NAH – I’m sure it’s not as personal as you are making it out to be. Like you said, it’s been sitting and hasn’t been used. Pretty sure that are going to be updates. Maybe he’s just being a bit cautious because all of these things are happening to his PC and he just wants no one to use it until he can get on and figure out what’s going on and get it up and running again. It could be that simple. Just don’t use it until he can sort it out. Remember, it’s his PC not yours. He does need to think before he speaks and says you can’t use it at all after he’s got it up and running. That would make him TAH here.
You already bought him new headphones. I think it’s possible his computer was pretty iffy, and he just wants you to pay to upgrade it. Or maybe you treated it carelessly. But either way, enough is enough. You aren’t going to break up over his behavior? Really? That’s too bad.
NAH. You didn’t break anything on purpose and I bet it would have broken while used by him anyway. However, it’s his stuff and he can refuse to share at any moment. I don’t share electronics with my partner either… could you get your own? He shouldn’t get mad or have you replace everything that broke though. Shit happens. He should also properly dust it.
ESH. Your boyfriend is allowed to choose who gets to use the computer that he owns and if he has asked you not to use it for any reason you should respect that. That being said there is no proof that your use of the computer is the reason things stopped working so I don’t think you should be required or expected to pay for them.
ESH You are not entitled to use his possessions and he seems to have found an easy way to get new stuff without paying for it, aka you.
Soft ESH. Have you tried troubleshooting or cleaning the peripherals? Idk, if I was using someone’s hardware and parts crapped out, I would probably just get them new ones as a nice gesture and for the convenience of using their device.
That being said, I’m not a gamer and don’t use headphones. How much could this stuff possibly cost?
I also believe that some deference should be given to the fact you’re providing him free storage. I could never be in a relationship with this much nickel-and-diming.
“That being said, I’m not a gamer and don’t use headphones. How much could this stuff possibly cost?”
Nice peripherals can get very pricey. That said they still have to be replaced periodically due to wear and tear and methinks that system has needed new peripherals for a bit and he either hasn’t noticed/didn’t care until now
NAH but neither is he. Leave the computer alone since he has asked you to. Once he moves in, you can have another conversation about it since he will actually be in the apartment and using the computer as well. People are entitled to their own possessions and get to determine who does and doesn’t use them.
NAH, but I also think it’s ok for your boyfriend to not allow you to use his computer any longer. You should just buy your own then there will be no issues with who did what to his computer.
You should not be using anyone else’s PC except for short extreme emergencies. He is not wrong. He allowed it and realized it was a mistake. I dont blame him. Computers are very expensive personal items that should rarely be shared. He doesn’t have to give it up just because you are moving in together. Save a find a way to get your own.
NTA
but if he doesnt want you to use it anymore then that’s that. at the end of the day it’s his property and if he doesn’t want you to use it then there isn’t anything else you can do.
him blaming you for everything is his own feelings, but you didn’t do anything with the intent to mess up the PC, it probably is just because it’s old and has been unused for so long.
i have a gaming laptop and a gaming pc, both are old and out of date as far as new gaming tech goes, my bf uses both because he doesn’t have any of his own. if he used it and suddenly something stopped working, i wouldn’t blame him or get angry, this stuff happens and if you’re gonna live together then you’re gonna have to figure out how to deal with these things when they come up.
NAH and dont buy him the mouse its weird for him to think its all your fault when you know how to use a pc but its his pc so if he doesn’t want you to use it just dont, also tell him not to keep it in your room I’m sure it takes up space and that way you cant be blamed for any future issues.