I am a 31yo f and started dashing a little bit ago to make ends meat, and being Autistic, that can be a heavy challenge.
I was once a clerk at the grocery store I was sent to dash tonight many moons ago, so I still feel loyalty to the people who gave me my first job.
All this aside, I shopped my 2 orders with no issue, then proceeded to checkout, where 2 lines were open. I chose the short line obvs. There was 1 other person ahead and she was messing with her phone to try and download the store app to use a digital coupon. The clerk was getting very flustered because the lady was becoming increasingly aggressive to him. I said to the lady behind her and in front of me, I would have stepped aside and asked them to void my order and apologized to the people behind me if I were them. Was it a harsh truth? Maybe, but it is true and I have had to do so many a time.
She starts chirping at me that she is insulted and isn’t using foodstamps like some people, adding a sharp thank you as she stared at me.
I just smiled and kept talking to the lady ahead of me like she wasn’t there, saying some people are just miserable. At least I’ll go home with a smile.
She snaps that I am being nasty and should go home, but I simply retort that I wouldn’t have normally said anything but I was on the clock and had now stood waiting for her an extra 10 minutes, yes I timed. I’m anal, sue me. She starts cussing me out and the clerk snaps that she needs to leave, lucky for her, she finished paying finally so she was able to take her order. I simply wished her well and waved goodbye to her as I apologized to the clerk for the trouble I caused. He thanked me and said he had a brain injury and this was his first month back in 12 years. I hope she finds some light for her life, but was I the asshole for speaking up?
ETA: Reminder, I didnt use my disabilities as excuses for behavior. I simply put that I had a disability that makes communication difficult and work harder. I happily accept I was rude, but because of character limit, you don’t get the full dialog mockup, but that’s my own fault for not mentioning it originally. I was never nasty, just bluntly honest with the situation she was causing. I did mention she was being extremely rude to the staff and should be ashamed btw. Guess I need to double check if I can add extra next time before posting my stories. That’s my bad! But thank you all for the observations regardless. May you all, haters or not, have a wonderful end of year. No sarcasm intended.
EETA: I just realized some people are misunderstanding. She wasnt flustered, the cashier was. She was nasty from the moment she walked up to him because we had already been waiting a while before all this. Chill people! I already accept i was a jerk but yall tearing me apart need to chill! I wasnt looking for vindication, just to see if I was wrong, and I was. Stop focusing on my disability! It had everything to do with why I work Doordash, not to excuse the behavior!
ESH (except for the cashier), you for making unnecessary comments, and her for being aggressive and rude. And the store’s kind of an AH for having a digital-only coupon that the cashier can’t apply on their end.
Yeah, I really hate the whole digital only coupon bit. I think it is discriminatory, particularly to older people. Most stores who have them have loyalty cards too. Why not just have the same deal available on both so that you don’t tick off any of your customers?
ESH. Her rudeness does not excuse yours.
ESH, she was obviously flustered and taking too much time but you didn’t need to say things to the other people. You could have moved to a different line or spoken up to try and help her.
That being said it’s okay to be an asshole sometimes, she sounds annoying lol
ESH
Yeah some people suck. My husband is a manager at a grocery store and people can be so difficult, especially about their coupons. But your comments didn’t help the situation. All you did was escalate.
Let the store handle it and don’t get involved. Sorry it took an extra 10 minutes to check out. It happens.
ESH. Having been in retail, you should know that agitating a customer who’s already angry is just going to make them more angry. You get to do whatever you want unaffected, but was she going to be any less of a dick to the cashier because of what you said? No, probably not. You were ultimately focused on how she was affecting you (wasting 10 minutes of your time), and that’s what came out of your mouth.
YTA, she was obviously flustered. You aren’t special. You obviously were never taught how to behave properly and your carry on made the whole situation way worse than it had to be. Using “I’m autistic” as some kind of excuse for your shitty behavior is also despicable.
ESH. The lady sounds like an AH, but don’t talk about people like they’re not in the room. Meaning, if you’re going to say something negative about someone when you know they can hear you, just say it to them.
ESH – you were rude, she was rude back.
If you are actually worried about not being an AH, talk to the person who you are trying to address next time rather than making passive aggressive comments
Eg “excuse me, I am in a rush because X, can I go ahead while you figure out the app” or similar
If she is broke, then figuring out the app is important for her budget. I wouldn’t shame her about it. Just ask her if she will let others go while she futzes around on the app.
ESH.
She was rude, absolutely. But you basically started the whole argument with your crap.
Also, I’m autistic too, and as another person commented, you don’t get to use your diagnosis to justify shitty behavior.
ESH. She started the avalanche of suck, but you were egging it on – and what the ACTUAL fuck, dragging another customer into the middle of it?? Extremely uncool move there. If you had kept it between you, her, and the cashier, I’d be inclined to let it slide or just metaphorically wag a finger at you, but involving a whole separate customer takes you right up to being on par with digital-coupon lady. You didn’t help; you just made everything worse. If you genuinely have autism, you should know how awful it feels to have all that negative attention and energy focused on you when you’re trying your best but are this/close to melting down, and should know that passive-aggressive shit-talking someone in that situation – even if it IS by their own fault – is counter-productive.
So, another person was flustered and you made a conscious choice to escalate and add to her stress. Then, because you’re autistic and all you want us to give you a pass? Nope, you’re the AH for sure. How proud you seem about it, too.