Last week i was planning on going on a double date with my friend, she wanted to go a gothic club. I told her I don’t usually like club, as she already knew, but I was willing to give it another try just because I wanted to make her happy. At first it was supposed to be just me her and my boyfriend but she wanted to bring a guy she just started recently dating for barely a month & from a dating app.
I told her i’d only be fine with going if we share a car, the club has zero parking and is in literal hollywood, which is known for such. she told me she’d ask her boyfriend. day of she texts me and says “yeah we can’t share a car, my boyfriend wants his car incase something happens.” this soured my mood, i didn’t want to go after she told me that but my boyfriend assisted on us to go regardless because he never had been to a club and was excited to dress up with me.
anyways she tells me we are getting here a certain time to go walk around first and eat until the club opens to make sure to find good parking. i tell her “where will we be parking then? since no shared car.” she told me “oh that’s why you wanted to share a car” and i say yes… she agrees we will be sharing a car then quickly turns on her words 30 minutes later saying she again doesn’t want to because she “doesn’t feel well and might leave early”. okay, so now i’m picking out an outfit for the club, for context i have a very curvy figure, i noticed my outfit was going to show some skin because of it. I had a cute tube top on with a skirt that showed some of my cheeks. realizing this, i texted my friend and said..
“hey is it okay if i wear this outfit? shows some cheeks, i know your boyfriend is going to the club so i just wanted to make sure its okay”, she immediately told me “no that would make me uncomfortable, as ive had an ex whose commented on my friends bodies.” I tell her “no worries” and change out my outfit immediately. Me and my boyfriend get to the club early and she gets there. she texts and asks where we are… i share her my location, and she tells me “oh me and my man are pregaming”. didn’t tell us she was going to, didn’t offer, anything, I text her and say “without us?:(“ and she just ignored my statement and basically told me what she’s drinking. 15 minutes flies by of me and my bf waiting in the lot, and i text her and say “hey we are going to take off, i thought we were going to walk around and eat, you guys have fun”.
She never responded to the text, now a week goes by without her saying anything to me but then she texts me and comes at me saying i’m a horrible person for asking to wear something like that around her boyfriend, that I disrespected her, and that it shows a lot about “me” that I asked that question when I was trying to be respectful.
Sooo… AITA?
ESH
1) It’s provocative, not proactive.
2) Why do you need your friends permission about what to wear? It’s honestly weird that you even asked.
3) It’s bizzare that she cares. She’s had issues with boyfriends. That’s her issues with boyfriends. It doesn’t give her the right to tell others what to wear.
You’re all behaving strangely.
WTH is a proactive outfit? Provocative?
>At first it was supposed to be just me her and my boyfriend but she wanted to bring a guy she just started recently dating for barely a month & from a dating app.
Oh she doesn’t meet your standard for “bf longevity”. How dare she?!
>“yeah we can’t share a car, my boyfriend wants his car incase something happens.” this soured my mood
Oh, how dare someone else have requirements and they conflict with your wants/desires.
I don’t think we’re getting the full picture here. This was a painful read. I’m also not convinced that your version is completely honest. Best I can do is ESH. By everyone, I mean the both of you.
I can’t judge but it’s weird you felt you had to check with her what you could wear based on who she was going with (ie it feels like this wasn’t the first time this subject has come up). Her pre-gaming without you and flip flopping on driving was annoying and you just leaving seems rude. Turns out I can judge – ESH
I’m going to say NTA. And god damn, this whole thing sounds mentally exhausting.
How are y’all old enough to go to clubs? Because this sounds like middle school drama.
This entire thing seems like a weird, made up story just to let people know you’re “curvy”
Why on earth would you need to make sure an outfit is okay to wear around someone’s date? Please..
Everything about this is weird.
Never ever ask for permission to wear what you wanna wear. If they are uncomfortable, that’s their problem. Also, what an inconsiderate friend. Hot tip, find better friends. You don’t need this girl in your life.
ESH Whole friend group sounds trash.
Um, we’ve read this already? On a different subject? Yes-no??
I’d love to weigh in but idk what a proactive outfit is. Did you perhaps mean provocative?
Somehow, I read it as protective. I read the whole thing trying to figure out why she needed a protective outfit. I’m clearly too tired to reddit any more tonight.