Okay, this is gonna be long, sorry in advance. I accepted the offer to dog sit for a woman whose dog sitter usually is my friend. She was going to be out of town for 12 days, 2 dogs, wanted me to stay overnight with them, said they weren’t allowed to be unattended for more than 4 hours at a time and meals consisted of quinoa (ended up cooking 2 more batches than available for them), defrosted meat, kibble and 2 powders as toppers. She had not discussed payment with me at all until the day before she was to leave, when she said she’d pay me $65/day. I was not happy with this (all I knew beforehand was that my friend said she pays well) so I said I would do $100/day or I’d have to refer her to rover or a dog boarding facility. To this she explicitly stated "I’ll pay the $100" (have this in a text).
Now that she’s back, she’s saying she’s only willing to pay the $65/day because how I treated her the day she left (suggesting rover or dog boarding) was "beyond upsetting" and that because of this I had put an "inordinate amount of duress" on her. She said it was highly unprofessional of someone who is wanting to charge top dollar.
She is also upset because I helped myself to her liquor cabinet (she has over 100 bottles of liquor, I honestly thought she would not have noticed), had my boyfriend over for the first 5 days (he was visiting from out of state, wasn’t sure where else to be since she wanted me with the dogs) and that I had looked in her bedroom. To explain this, it was the day before she returned and I wanted to wash the sheets and towels I had used during my stay. I was looking for the laundry room which she believes she showed me, but is not the case. Either way, everything in the bedroom was completely untouched, I simply cracked the door for a moment. Also- only rules she gave me were "no parties", which I absolutely did not do.
Am I in the wrong? I feel that the reasons why she is angry with me aren’t actually "reasons" but rather a way for her to get out of the rate I set for her.
TL;DR: Lady I’m dog sitting for wants to pay me $65/day vs. the agreed upon $100/day because I did some stuff she didn’t like while I stayed at her house (drank some of her liquor, had my bf over, looked for the laundry room). Am I in the wrong?
Edit: Everyone is talking about stealing her liquor so I have to add: said friend did tell me she makes herself a nightly cocktail there using their alcohol so I assumed it would be alright for me to do the same
YTA, I was with you until you drank her liquor. Pet sitting does not mean help yourself to my shit.
YTA for drinking her alcohol. Good god. It’s a job not your house to have fun in.
While $100 a day is the going rate in some places, you drank her alcohol. I’m not sure I’d pay you anything. But $65 seems reasonable.
YTA – tell me you’re joking . You had your boyfriend over to a CLIENT’S house ? Then you proceeded to access her liquor cabinet? All without asking ?
you’re lucky she’s even paying you at all because i sure wouldn’t have . you’re super unprofessional – she hired you for a job . not to have company over and for you to be using her things .
YTA.
1. You don’t go into anyone’s liquor cabinet without their permission.
2. You don’t have visitors without the owner’s permission.
Also you don’t just go full on heavy handed here because you never worked with this person, and you did it on the day that she was about to leave. But there was an agreement. She should hold onto it but given the said circumstances of you acting like you own things in someone’s own home. Yeah, she’s gonna have a problem with that said quality if you’re not going to uphold into it.
YTA.
You took from her liquor cabinet, you literally stole
from her.
Was all set to vote E S H based on terrible communication, then got to you helping yourself to her alcohol and having your boyfriend stay.
YTA
YTA if you expect top dollar for your services then you should not have treated this opportunity as a hotel vacation. If it were me, I’d pay you the full amount and the deduct bar prices for any consumed alcohol and a nightly rate for your guest. Play stupid, games win stupid prizes…
YTA. I mean who has their boyfriend over for 5 days. Drank liquor that was was not yours. Get over yourself. I’m sure with a dog owner that feeds the way this owner does she has cameras.
NTA for asking for the wages. I believe she is obligated to pay you the agreed upon rate because she should have negotiated the pay rate well in advance of her leaving, but you were absolutely unprofessional. You should have disclosed your intention to bring your BF into her home. And stealing liquor is not OK no matter how many bottles there are.
YTA. I was on your side but having a secondary guest for 5 WHOLE DAYS? And drinking liquor because “I thought she wouldn’t notice”? The entitlement is seething through. Yuck. YTA. If your bf was coming to visit, say “I’m not available”. If entertaining someone is higher on your priority list than doing a paid gig, you’re not available.
YTA
Helping yourself to someone’s liquor cabinet and having your boyfriend over are frankly insane things to assume are ok.
YTA, bottom line, don’t touch her stuff or anything else including alcohol, you also don’t bring your boyfriend over for your enjoyment in someone else’s home. You don’t deserve a single penny. Be happy that she’s giving you that money. Also telling her that she can rover or use another kennel if she didn’t pay your price is not negotiable. It’s her choice and seeing as she didn’t know you doesn’t mean that you can make demands especially when you don’t have a business in dog sitting and reviews. Grow up!
ESH.
Up until the halfway point in your post, I would have said she should honor the deal she agreed to and pay you the $100 per day. If you only had to drop in once or twice a day to feed the dogs, $100 a day would be excessive. But being unable to leave the house for more than 4 hours at a time over a 12 day period is a lot to demand of a sitter. Unless you’re planning to hole up there and write a book or get some serious WFH done, I’d be asking for top dollar too.
You were a fool not to discuss payment with her until the day before she was due to leave, but being a fool doesn’t make you the asshole. The other things in your post do.
You slid right off the moral high ground and down into the vale of assholeness when:
(a) you helped yourself to her liquor. **You should have asked first!** “*I honestly thought she would not have noticed.”* Do you even hear yourself? You’re saying theft is OK if you think the victim won’t notice? What other misdeeds do you think are OK as long as the victim doesn’t notice? Your moral compass is in need of a polish.
(b) you let your boyfriend stay over for five days. That is outrageous behavior on your part. She never consented to having this complete stranger in her home. **Again, you should have asked first**, and if the answer had (quite reasonably) been “no”, you accept it with good grace. I don’t care that he’s visiting from out of state. He either stays at your place alone, stays in a hotel, or you refuse the dogsitting gig right from the outset.
*Also- only rules she gave me were “no parties”, which I absolutely did not do.*
It may never have occurred to her that you’d steal her liquor and invite Boyfriend in. Just because someone doesn’t explicitly say “Don’t do this” doesn’t give you carte blanche to do it.
*and that I had looked in her bedroom. To explain this, it was the day before she returned and I wanted to wash the sheets and towels I had used during my stay. I was looking for the laundry room which she believes she showed me, but is not the case. Either way, everything in the bedroom was completely untouched, I simply cracked the door for a moment.*
If your character had been honest and your houseguest record spotless, I’d have given you the benefit of the doubt, but it isn’t. There’s also the fact that in the average home, laundry rooms aren’t usually in a place where a bedroom could be mistaken for them. I think you were snooping.
In any case, if you didn’t touch a thing, how did she even know you opened the door of her bedroom?
Whether the story about cracking opening the bedroom door for just a second is true or not, the fact is, you fucked up regarding the liquor and the boyfriend, and you need to compensate her.
Therefore, $65 per day instead of $100 sounds like a fair compromise for theft and an unauthorized guest. Be glad she’s not insisting on an even lower rate.