We moved in together two months ago and just brought my cat of two years over to our new home not even a week ago. We are still trying to get settled in and both of us only make enough to cover rent, power, and a few groceries. We already have so much to worry about (eg: her new car she just bought that broke down two weeks ago) and we already stress enough. Two days ago, she brought home an outside, untrained, tapeworm infested kitten. She said she got it to make the place feel more like her home and that she would train it and take care of it, considering almost all of the furniture and decor and appliances I brought when we moved in. I just want her to be happy so I said accepted it. But these past two days, it has pooped in just about every room and today it pooped on the couch. My cat hasn’t come out from underneath our bed but a few times, and he just stopped doing that after getting comfortable here in his new space. We went to get flea and tapeworm stuff today and I tried talking to my girlfriend saying it was too soon to take care of a new cat, a kitten, and she got upset and said she was just going to get rid of it. I just want her to be happy, but every way I think of it, one of us is just going to be unhappy.
Tough one. Personally I wouldn’t jump to Get rid of the cat, but talk to her about the pooping, getting it wormed and spayed, ongoing care etc. If she doesn’t immediately start putting actions into place, then it’s reasonable to ask for rehoming. NTA.
Firstly- that kitten needs to be quarantined ASAP!!! I’m the bathroom preferably so messes are easier to clean.
Clean up and sanitize all the places out made messes. Don’t let your cat near any of that.
Secondly- see a vet asap and if you can’t then you can’t keep the kitten. It needs to be treated to make sure it doesn’t pass anything into your cat.
Nta
Your gf is uncomfortable in the new place and doesn’t feel like it is really *her* home. The kitten was an attempt to fix that. How you deal with that is up to you.
ESH for not properly quarantining and introducing a new cat to your household. solid chance your other cat ends up with worms and other parasites. you need to keep the kitten locked in its own space until it’s gone to the vet, been dewormed, and litter trained, and THEN you start introducing it to the other cat.
YTA if you just unilaterally tell her to get rid of the kitten, but she’s also an asshole for insisting she could do all of that by herself.
Two days is nothing in the endeavor to acclimate a cat to a new home or introduce two cats successfully.
There’s a far bigger issue you should be concerned about, though. Your girlfriend doesn’t feel comfortable in what’s supposed to be her home too.
Shift your focus.
If you moved in 2 months ago, why did your cat just get there a week ago? No wonder he’s stressed if he’s been in some half way situation! The kitten needs to be kept separate until it’s been given the all-clear by a vet.
I’m getting the sense that the two of you don’t know a whole lot about cats. That’s not a huge deal. You’re young, and you live and you learn, but I’d suggest doing some research on how to properly transition cats into a new space, and how to introduce a second cat to the space. They can be really negatively affected by moves and new intros.
Moving is stressful for cats. OP probably waited to move their cat until they were unpacked and settled into the new place in order to minimize stress
NTA. She’s AH for bringing in a stray cat and not immediately quarantining it (which you should do regardless of where the cat came from, so they can adjust and then be properly introduced to other pets in the house), and she’s also an AH for throwing a tantrum and saying “well fine I’ll just get rid of it then!” to make you feel bad.
If she wants the second cat, it needs to be taken to a vet ASAP on her dime, and then quarantined and properly introduced to your cat. If she’s not willing to do those things, then I would take the stray to a shelter or rescue and think about the kind of person you want to be with.
I’m not gonna say NTA or YTA because 1. Id need more context from both of your sides and 2. I feel she got this cat to help her self adjust and also for self fulfillment and animal love/ care, which I get. I used to do the same. When life got hard for me, I’d help someone or something else and it gives me motivation to tackle my own issues. I feel what you need to do is speak openly and calmly with her that adjustments need to be made for the new sick baby cat, and have her make that work out proper since she said she’d take care of it. If she fails to do so, a different conversation needs to be done. If her car is newly bought and already broke down, it should be covered under a warranty or insurance for the most part from my understanding. Yall just need a good heart to heart imo.
Edit , forgot to mention: if this is about a financial issue, it’d be best to give the cat to someone who can pay for all those issues or if you have a nice rescue center near your guys, ask them about a “catch and release” program. What they do is heal up the animal, vaccinate them for rabies and fix world issues, and it’s not deemed as a pet so if it was given to someone else they can officially adopt or it can now be an outside pet safely.
You need to get the new sick cat to a vet asap. It could potentially make your health cat sick. Make sure the vet is aware you have another cat at home. You also need to give both cats a lot longer time to adjust to each other.
It’s been two days, it’s a kitten. It’s going to poop in places it’s not supposed to, that’s what babies do. That’s why you put time and effort into setting it up in a safe zone, getting it healthy and training it to use a litterbox. Like it or not, this is a living creature and it doesn’t deserve to suffer because your girlfriend is short-sighted and you have limited patience. Getting rid of it in this context means sending it to its death. Imagine if your own cat was sick and pooping on the furniture (which, they do tend to steer clear of the litterbox when they’re sick and it’s probably going to happen with your cat eventually as it gets older) and your girlfriend insisted on getting rid of it. You’d think she was being cruel, because it is cruel.
NAH except for both of you exposing your cat to the kitten like this. If the kitten is FIV+, it could be a death sentence for your cat, too.
This kitten needs veterinary care now, and ESH if you don’t make this a priority. The kitten will infect your cat and double your trouble. Who is cleaning up all the messes? Most cats will naturally use a litter box once their health problems are taken care of. Maybe there is a shelter in your area that has low-cost clinics for cases like this. Make some phone calls.