so i recently posted this on another account but i figured id post again because new info has come out. as the title states my girlfriend of about 2 months messaged her ex. i found this out and was absolutely heartbroken. it wasn’t anything crazy, just a simple “i miss you”. the guy didn’t pick up. the worst part is he doesn’t even live near us and they dated for 2 weeks. i believed she was going to cheat on me but she informed me that she was going to break up with me if he answered. i feel like i am just a backup for her and i don’t know what to do. i tried to break it off but she ended up crying in my arms for hours. i feel guilty because this girl was my first everything (i know my age it’s embarrassing) but whatever.
Just move on she didn’t respect you
Yeah, she isn’t ready for a relationship. She doesn’t seem to want you, she just wants “someone”.
Now, this is only based off of what you wrote, OP, so take it woth a grain of salt.
I hate to be so blunt, but given your post, it sounds likes you are just a placeholder for her until someone better comes along. If her ex had responded, she flat out told you she would have broken up with you. That tells you all you need to know. She would rather be with the wrong person than no one at all. Go find better. There’s someone out there who will love you for you and not just to keep you around to prevent themselves from being lonely (like it sounds your gf is doing). A broken heart sucks, but it’s better to respect yourself and leave than to let her continue to disrespect you.
2 months and 2 weeks are very short times for relationships. She doesn’t sound ready to be in one. If she is shopping around then she is not committed. Sounds like you are a placeholder til someone ‘better’ comes along. So either split up or stick around with the understanding that this is a temporary situation. Don’t give her your money. Always wear a condom
4d chess level shit tests which you failed. She will never respect a man who stays after she said something like that. It will build resentment. Walk away immediately regardless of how you feel, don’t be a pathetic loser.
You’re not embarrassing at all, your first everything treating you like a backup would hurt anyone. Her plan to break up with you if he responded shows she’s not really in this. One small step: ask yourself, “If a close friend told me this story, what would I tell them to do?”
I think you’re a placeholder
I would point out she was going to break up with you and she only wants you there so she doesn’t feel lonely and rejected.
But if you want to make it work she going to have to show you that she can be trusted and that she wants to be there for the long haul. I would put in some serious hard boundaries that you feel safe within the relationship that can reworked later on down the road when you actually have faith in her.
Also you’re going to have to find out the reason for her wanting to leave in the first place, might not be something you can come back from.
Good luck and make the best decision for you and not just because it hurts.
Oh she’s going to cheat on you. Maybe not with the ex, but with someone. She’s just not that into you and doesn’t respect the relationship. She likely had sex with him the last time she was in the same city with him too.