We all graduated 2 years ago in a creative subject. I was very lucky and fortunate to receive a full time job related to our degree after graduation upon completing an internship.
I was at a friend’s house for a movie and we were chatting about life. I mentioned that I’ve been having issues with my flatmate and boyfriend as well as general job stress. Everyone immediately said things like "well you have a job so it’s fine". I asked what they meant by that and they said "money helps." I could just move apartment or something with the money from my job. I have been open about my pay , expressing that I made minimum wage last year so that isn’t exactly an option. I asked them am I not allowed to have problems just because I have a job and I was met with "shut up. At least you’re doing something useful with your degree." I was pretty upset after that and didn’t really know how to contribute or what to say. One of the girls before I left said "we’re just jealous" and I didn’t know what to say. It’s left me in a sour mood but I can’t help wonder if I’m in the wrong? Maybe I shouldn’t talk about my struggles since they have their own? I can’t talk about this with my partner because his response is the exact same as my friends, which is making me think I am overreacting.
For context my friends are a mixture of unemployment (while being supported by parents) or in retail jobs. I wouldn’t say I’m the most talented of the bunch, I definitely got lucky being in the right place at the right time, but I was the only person in our friend group to network and apply to internships while we were in university. I’m very grateful for my job of course in the current climate, but it certainly isn’t perfect and neither is my personal life. I don’t want to moan all the time to my friends about it but it’d be nice to talk to someone about it without getting shot down.
Get new friends.
Its ok, people grow, change and move on.
…some don’t
And a new boyfriend considering his response is the same as the friends.
Agreed. This is the beginning of the end, I’m sorry to tell you. They resent tbat you have a job. Not fair at all, but people are people
You can vent about absolutely anything your just venting to the wrong people consider getting new friends jobs suck
NTA, wow what selfish friends. They’re projecting their own troubles onto you because you’re the “lucky one”, when in fact it’s a mix between a touch of luck and a lot of hard work. They’ve just invalidated your hard work and the natural stress that comes with it, because all they’re thinking is “if I were in OP’s position, all my troubles would be gone”. It’s the typical “grass is greener” approach, but I’m genuinely surprised that you still count these people as friends (and tbh, are still continuing with your partner). We keep people in our lives to lift us up and share the good and bad times with, not to tear us down. If they can’t do something as basic as lend a listening ear to your problems, they’re not worth your time.
Reassess your friend/relationships. It’s OK to walk away if people are no longer making your life better.
I find making friends really hard. I usually get on with most of the people in the group expect one person who is just always bitter to me but he always gets invited. He was the worst offender last night and everyone else jumped in
it’s a tough pill to swallow but they are most certainly talking shit behind your back. you are learning one of life’s hardest lessons – respect yourself or be popular. you can’t have both.
They shit-talk you when you’re not there.
They absolutely do.
NTA. Just because they broke both their legs and you only broke one leg doesn’t mean your broken leg doesn’t hurt….
You need to dump em all “friends” and partner. They can be jealous but if they cared for you at all they wouldn’t treat you like that. EVERYONE has struggles, even rich people
NTA they are acting out of jealousy, friends like this don’t want you to do well. They ruin every achievement you have with backhanded compliments and they never listen to you when you need support. Friends should be happy for each other when something good comes along.
They complain that you at least get to use your diploma? That kinda sounds like a bit of victim mentality to me. Doesn’t take away from it being a hard industry to get into, but that mentality is toxic when used against individuals, it’s misplaced anger. Stop letting them used you as a punching bag. Chin up and move on with your life quietly.
They sound young, I wouldn’t jump to cutting them out, a lot of people grow out of jealousy, just be distant for a while and find some new friends in the meantime
Yes myself and all my friends except my partner are in our early 20s. I know the job market is really tough and I consider myself extremely lucky, but I know that they are struggling a lot as well. I hope they will grow out of it, I’m not sure whether to address my upset at their behaviour or if I will be met with the same response.
Unless your job is heiress and you have never and will never worry about money, NTA.
The ultra-rich deserve no empathy, as they have none (with one notable exception, MacKenzie Scott doing the bare minimum).