I’m a young guy (newly 18) and my gf (also 18) comes over to my house pretty frequently since her parents are pretty strict and mine are pretty lax. recently I’ve fallen into the habit of falling asleep while we watch movies/cuddle but it’s not like a once in a while thing, it’s just about every time and while my girlfriend says it doesn’t bother her too much I can tell she feels like it’s cutting into our time together. I don’t share this sentiment with her and don’t feel like I can control when/if I fall asleep in these situations (dimly lit rooms typically in the evening after long days for both of us) and on top of that despite my parents being pretty lax, because of some bullying at school in years prior I’m generally a very tense person but I noticeably relax around her and it’s considerably easier to fall asleep. On the other hand shes been battling with insomnia for years and it’s a near physical impossibility for her to take naps, it’s happened maybe 4 times in the 6 months we’ve been together, I really care about my gf but at the same time sleeping with her there for me is just as rewarding as being awake while we watch the movie or cuddle, AITA for this and if I am what are some recommendations for us to meet in the middle with?
NTA but you need to tell her exactly that if you haven’t already. Tell her you can’t help it, and that you feel so safe and seen by her that your body can’t help but relax when she’s around. And maybe try to work in a weekly or bi-weekly day date, where you can hang out during the day at a park or doing an activity so she feels like she gets some proper time with you alert and awake 😋 Or go out for dinner (even a slice of pizza) when she comes to your house so she gets time to talk to you before the movie & sleep.
It’s a comfort thing. If I’m curled up with my wife on the couch. I’m a goner. It could be 1 in the afternoon after a full 8 hours sleep, my eyes get heavy. Shes the one person that I feel completely comfortable around. I’m a lucky man
NTA – but you should tell her exactly what you said in this post!
it already sounds like she isn’t bothered, so it might be that YOU’RE the one that feels like it cuts into your time (not a bad thing, it shows you value quality time together).
a simple “hey GF, i know you said you don’t mind when i fall asleep so easily when you sleep over, but i just want you to know that its because i feel so comfortable and safe around you. i value our time together so much and i would hate for you to think otherwise”.
i’m in a similar spot to your GF – im a terrible sleeper and my partner can’t make it to the end of a tv episode sometimes. hearing them start to snore with their head on my shoulder makes me feel trusted and reassures me that they know they’re safe with me.
tell her how you feel, its a great opportunity to see eye to eye on something and it’ll do nothing but strengthen the relationship for you both!
NAH. You feel safe with her and finally relax that’s actually really sweet. But she wants more awake time together, which is fair.
Try hang out earlier in the day, do active stuff first, keep lights bright during movies, or have her wake you after 20 min.
Talk it out this is totally solvable.