AITA for telling my bsf the day after drinking to take down a post that looks like we’re kissing in it ? This girl (24) pressured me (22F) to keep drinking after i told her i was done and its my fault i drank them yes. However she kept pouring me shots and then got mad when i didnt want to take them so i took them. Anyways we got to the point of blackout drunk and she ended up posting a video where it looks like we kissed and my boyfriend obviously didn’t like it and neither did I mainly because I was drunk asf and didn’t remember half the night after the 5th shot, then i was passed out on her bedroom floor. The next day rolls around and im nervous asf bc i truthfully didnt recall it all that well but i hate confrontation so i told her yea it was okay not knowing what she was gonna post and she sent it to me for me to post the other ones so i did … again i fucked up. The next day i regret everything because i didnt wanna do it in the first place so i texted her saying i took my down and that id like her to take hers down because it made me uncomfortable. She told me no and got defensive. So i buckled down like i shouldve in the beginning and she said she understood and took the video down. I asked if she was upset and she said no. So i text her the next day thinking everything is cool and shes short w me. I go on tiktok and shes posting about how her new friend is so much better than me on Snapchat saying how her new friend wouldnt make her feel how i did. Now im upset bc why couldnt she just talk to me about it. So i made a post aimed at her… and she texts my mother instead of me asking for her hoodie back, like she cant text me and now im bothered
Also a big reason why i feel so uncomfortable saying no to her is because in the past when she’s been drunk she becomes very touchy with me. Grabbing my boobs and groin area and if i back away or say anything im automatically deemed as homophobic or a shit friend. Eventhough im Bi and have had girlfriends so that just doesnt make sense to me and im allowed to not want someone to touch me. She has admitted to having a crush on me in the oast but only while drunk and then when i confront her about it later when we’re sober to set the boundary that we’re just friends she takes it back and says she never said that.
Another thing is she blames me for our friendship ending in the past. But never takes accountability for her part in it. I let that slide and said id do better and now that i stood up for myself and set a boundary she’s pushing me away and claiming her new best friend wouldn’t make her feel like she has to change for others (i asked her to be nicer to my bf, her fiance admitted she was rude to him) or make her have to leave her baby at home (i literally take him when i hangout and offer her to have him with us bc i love the baby and i blatantly said this many times)
I want to burn the hoodie she wants back but i should be more mature and just give it back to her but im so pissed
Not wanting to be sexually assaulted does not make you homophobic. This is a seriously toxic relationship and you need to end it. This girl is not your friend, and she seriously resents you for not returning her feelings.
ETA: you also need to stop getting blackout drunk. It seriously affects your brain cells and causes serious lapse and judgment.
INFO: Why do you even want to be friends with someone who gets mad at you for things like not wanting to drink, and sexually assaults you?
Also obviously NTA. I’m not sure even you believe you might be the asshole, I think this post might have fit better in r/vent or something like that.
NTA. Give her any of her stuff back, then end the friendship. I wouldn’t even call this a friend.
INFO: why would you want to be friends with someone who uses alcohol as an excuse to SA you?
I didnt really view it as SA because im the one that drank the shots.. she didnt have a gun to my head. She isnt like this everytime we drink and weve been friends for 8 years atp. She also blames me for ending the friendship on numerous occasions so i felt bad and told her id stick around this time. Although reflecting on it recently i remember why i left before and it was usually over an argument we had. I tend to forgive and forget easily due to my anxious attachment style .
NTA at all. She pressured you to get blackout drunk, posted something sexual you didn’t consent to, ignores your boundaries, then weaponizes “homophobia” against you when you say no. That’s not a friend, that’s manipulative. If it helps you feel done with it, quietly bag up the hoodie, drop it off, and go low/no contact.
NTA this friend obviously doesn’t respect your boundaries and will continue to disrespect them. For your safety and peace of mine, get rid of her
Nta. friends do not SA you when you are drunk. friends do not coerce you into getting blackout drunk. friends do not post things about you that you do not want posted. ditch her and get therapy about why you try to befriend terrible people.
NTA your friend clearly has a toxic ass crush on you and wants you to be the bad guy for not reciprocating. As much as you don’t want to think so, she is sexually assaulting you even if it “feels harmless.” She seems to be happy that the video is driving a wedge between your BF and you, and she does NOT want that hoodie back because it gives her some sort of control over you.
Give all her shit back and cut her off.
Just dump it on her doorstep and block her. She’s into and wanted to take advantage
NTA a friend would respect you when you said you’d had enough alcohol and not get you blind drunk so she can sexually assault you. She isn’t a friend really.