I was talking to a woman for two weeks on Discord. She wanted to meet me and bought a train ticket, but I didn’t feel right about it. It was really triggering my anxiety. I told her three times that I didn’t want to, but she kept insisting. Now she’s on the train, and I sent her this message:
“Listen, I can’t do this. It’s nothing against you. I’d like you to get off at the next stop and take another train back home. If you want something with me, you need to take into account that I’m not doing well and that this is overwhelming for me. I’m not coming, and I can’t host you. I’m sorry. Goodbye.”
Then I blocked her. She’s travelling 11 hours to see me and she has nowhere to stay if she comes all the way to my place.
I feel like an asshole. What can I do ?Thank you so much for your help.
Your not an asshole here, you told her you werent comfortable with this, she should have listened to that in the first place and its not really gonna work if she cant respect your boundaries tbh
I think you told her very clearly that you did not want to do this and she continued on regardless. That is on her. She is an adult and will have to take care of herself.
Nothing take care of urself
At best, this woman is disrespectful of your wishes. At worse, she knows exactly what she’s doing and this is some kind of manipulative scheme for her.
Either way, you are not the one at fault here. **Please** don’t give in to her; it is not your obligation and will not do anything good for you. Keep her blocked. If she shows up at your door, don’t let her in. She has had every opportunity to not come, and if she chose to come anyway, that’s her problem, not yours.
How does she know where you live?
What was her last message to you?
Btw you have a right to be anxious. Only 2 weeks online and she’s forcing herself into your home? 11 hr ride? I’d be scared of her too.
omg she literally ignored your boundaries completely?? that’s a huge red flag. you were super clear about not being ready and she steamrolled right over that. trust your gut on this one.