My S.O. (25) and I (20) were hanging out in a parking lot on the roof of a shopping mall.
We were in my car, and they had taken their gloves off inside the car.
We went in and out of the car a few times.
When we noticed their bus was arriving in 10 minutes, we were in a big hurry, so we jumped into the car and drove to the bus stop very fast.
We didn’t know if we’d made it before the bus, so I stayed with them in case the bus had already gone by and I’d need to drive them home.
They asked me to check if one of their gloves was in the car because they’d lost one.
I didn’t find it.
The bus came, so the tension I had about that was relieved.
After their bus left, I got back into my car and went home.
The thought of going back to the parking lot to look for the lost glove never crossed my mind.
The rush was over, and my mind felt clear again, so it just didn’t occur to me.
They later messaged me to say they were sad because I didn’t go back to the parking lot to see if the glove was there.
They said: "If it was you who lost your glove, I’d drive back to the roof to find it because it logically fell there."
I sent my friend who lives close to the mall to check the place where we thought the glove fell, but they didn’t find it.
Added context: I don’t think my S.O. did anything wrong. They are just upset that their glove is missing.
AITA
You are NTA, but more ESH because they lost a glove and that sucks!! Asking a friend to check was kind if you weren’t able to do it yourself after they asked.
I think this experience tells you some expectation your SO has and what shows as caring behavior to them, so if you remember in the future “my person gets upset about lost things, I will go back and check if this happens again” then you are doing fine.
It is also Christmas season, so if it is causing tension, take this opportunity to replace the gloves as a gift. Maybe even ask for the remaining one of the lost pair “in case you find it” later.
Thank you for replying. The gift idea sounds really good. I should start looking for new cute gloves for them 😀
NTA, and I feel like your SO is being weird. I wouldn’t expect someone to drive back to find a glove. And I don’t think I’d drive back to find my own glove. There’s something about this that’s off, and makes me think it was one of those TikTok relationship tests.
I agree. I dont think most people would think to go look unless it was an expensive pair and the s/o knew they were expensive. But an average pair of gloves is so trivial, I dont think most people would go out of their way to go back and search. OP is the polar opposite of the AH for having a friend go look anyway.
Idk – I think a lot of people would be upset about losing one of their gloves, expensive or not. If I asked my SO to check the parking lot and they didn’t have anything pressing, I would expect them to because I would do the same for them. Not about the price of the gloves, it’s about how much S.O. cared. Just because you don’t care doesn’t mean they don’t and you should disregard it because you think it’s dumb.
But OP’s SO *didn’t* ask them to go back to look, which makes it seem like a “test.” That’s why it’s weird. If they had asked “hey, do you mind going back?” that’s completely different.
>They asked me to check if one of their gloves was in the car because they’d lost one. I didn’t find it.
>The bus came, so the tension I had about that was relieved. After their bus left, I got back into my car and went home. The thought of going back to the parking lot to look for the lost glove never crossed my mind. The rush was over, and my mind felt clear again, so it just didn’t occur to me.
>They later messaged me to say they were sad because I didn’t go back to the parking lot to see if the glove was there. They said: “If it was you who lost your glove, I’d drive back to the roof to find it because it logically fell there.”
I agree. If it was my leather gloves with fox trim I would want him to go look for it. If it was a dollar store mini stretch gloves, not necessary to look.
Whether you decided then to drive back and look for the glove would, I think, also depend on how far away the lot is.
I wouldn’t have even gone back for my own glove