Towards the end of summer just before school started back up, 4 of my friends got in a car crash with major injuries. The driver was my sisters age and the cousin of a girl that was in the car. Imagine my surprise 2 months later when my sister starts telling me stories about her new friend let’s call him “Matt”. He was the one who was driving and hospitalized my friends. Being that I hang out with the people in that accident daily and have seen how their lives had changed after that accident I did not take this lightly. Her new friend group consisted of him, 2 guys which one she liked and 2 other girls. They were constantly going out but Matt had never come near my house. For a Christmas parade later that year she said that all of her friends were coming. When I heard his name things got very heated and ended with our parents yelling at me to “give him a chance”. They know what happened but refuse to dislike him until he gives them another reason to. So am I the asshole for continuing to have hate towards him?
Edit:
The accident was caused when he ran a stop sign, was asked to slow down by everyone in the car and then ran a second getting them hit
Edited to add judgement: NTA.
INFO: Matt was the driver in the accident, got that. Was he drink driving? On drugs? Speeding?
Blew a 2 stop signs getting them hit
Thanks – I think this is really important context. Accidents happen, and if this was a simple accident, I’d say you need to cool it. But Matt drove irresponsibly and that hurt your friends. I totally get why you’d want to avoid him. You don’t ‘owe’ anyone a chance; it’s not at all unreasonable to say you don’t want to be around him. I’m surprised your parents don’t seem to understand this.
I do think a lot of teens can be idiots and can grow out of that, so hopefully he’ll have learnt a lot from this experience, and it’ll result in him being a more responsible driver.
Info- was he at fault/ was the accident preventable?
Overall you don’t have to talk to anyone.
He blew by a stop sign was asked to stop and continued to blow by the second one getting them hit
Oh then absolutely NTA
thank u
This is critical information for judgement. I’d edit the post to include it.
NTA since he was driving recklessly and caused the accident intentionally. You are not obligated to hang out or even tolerate this person. You can “give him a chance” if he has proven to end the behavior that causes the wreck; most people do after all, though there are some that never learn from their own mistakes.
Another detail I forgot was when getting a drive home from going out by my sister he was the only one without his seatbealt, kinda proving he took nothing from the incident
NTA do your parents know what actually happened? It’s possible they could have been lied to about what happened.
UpDateMe
oh I have told them. They still will not accept the fact that he was in the wrong and it wasn’t just a “bad decision”
Sounds like your parents have the “at least nobody died” attitude. Sadly it seems like everyone has their head in the sand except for you. Which at this point, you will have to decide how you’re going to handle. Sounds like multiple choice question time.
A- Be civil and tolerate him when he’s around.
B- Avoid him and go somewhere else when he’s around.
C- Confront him in front of everyone and tell him what you think about him.
D- Just tell your parents and sister not to come crying to when he does give them a reason to hate him.
My personal choice would be “C” but obviously it’s up to you.
NTA. Feel free to give Matt the cold shoulder and absolutely NOT help with anything party. Or leave to go with friends hours before the party so sister can set it up herself.