This is gonna be a long one so bear with me. I’d appreciate the view of both men and women.
So on Wednesday I (28M) left work early. This new girl (probably 30s – her 3rd week there) texted me on WhatsApp out of the blue. She doesn’t have my number, she doesn’t really know my name, we’ve barely spoken about work stuff yet she found me through our mutual work chat on WA.
She opened the message like that: “I am very sorry. You looked at me like that and that did something to me. You shouldn’t be cold to me like that.”. She said she didn’t want any thick air between a colleague and how she thought it’d be best to talk about it and that I shouldn’t show the message to anyone. She ended it saying she thought I was angry with her and I should take this as an apology.
Now I had no idea what she was talking about and I told her that and how I am always nice to colleagues even if I don’t like them and told her that maybe I was thinking about something else at the moment.
She said that happened on Saturday evening where I was suddenly very different and she thought it was because of her. I told her I’d make it up to her and I didn’t want her to have a bad opinion of me and she said I didn’t have to and in no way does she have a bad opinion of me. She repeated that she just wanted to apologise in case I was angry at her and that was basically it.
Now I’d be lying if I said I don’t like her but I don’t see her much (works only twice a week and on a differe section). There is one final detail I’d like to add though. A few days ago (before Saturday) as she was leaving and I was waiting for someone else, we said goodbye to each other and I was watching her as she left. Right before she turned on the corner she turned her head and looked at me (there was no one else on the road). We’ve also looked at each other a few times at work
So is this really just an apology or am I overthinking it, thinking this was an excuse to get in touch with me?
I think she wanted to talk to you and didn’t knew how. Now, saying she thought you were angry is kind of a red flag to me. What is she going to say next? Or who is she going to say it to? Idk, I would just keep it nice a work friendly.
Yeah, that worries me as well. Finding an excuse to talk to someone is one thing but basically accusing him of being mean to you? I don’t.
Thanks though.
Head case. She might as well have a tattoo on her forehead that reads “Red Flag”. You are in for trouble.
I personally think she was definitely just trying to find any reason to talk to you. She went through some effort to find you on WhatsApp.
Yeah my thought exactly. She also texted me just 20-30 minutes after work so she was really eager to “resolve” the “issue”.
Thanks for your input. Much appreciated
Her way of making the first move without making the first move.
So I’m a 31 year old dude that works with other people more or less my age. I have never, ever, sent nor received a text like that from a colleague. The fact she went out of her way to find your private contact info and message you strikes me as she must really want to talk to you but she has the mentality of a schoolgirl in how to approach it. Might not be bad in itself, but I’d be concerned this is how a woman who is in her early 30s would go about this.
Welcome to the world of mental health problems.
To me it sounds like she’s a BPDemon.
Time will tell
Geez, are you sure you’re in your 20’s? You’re not strangers and she thought maybe there was an issue. Nice and direct. Done. Doesn’t mean she wants more, or less. Be polite, be kind, and if something grows naturally (friends or more) great. If it doesn’t also great.