I recently got into golf and saw some golf shoes I liked were on sale for Black Friday. I let my fiancée know that I am interested in the shoes since they’re discounted. My partner misses the sale (~$30 savings) and asks me what size I’d like the golf shoes to be days later. I tell her not to buy the shoes, but she does so anyway. I wouldn’t have asked for the shoes if they weren’t on sale. I’m able to play golf well enough with the shoes I currently use. The shoe purchase doesn’t sit well with me as it doesn’t feel as justified without the discount. I ask my partner to return the shoes and she doesn’t respond well. She says she doesn’t care about the money and that she just wants me to give me a nice gift. She’s upset that I am not allowing her to spoil me. I see the good intent but can’t bring myself to feel good about the shoes having missed the deal. I feel bad because my partner was excited to get me the shoes, but I just can’t get myself to feel happy about the gift given the circumstance. Am I the asshole for asking her to return the shoes?
Yes, you are the asshole. It was a 30$ discount, not a 100$ discount. You told her you wanted something and she bought you thought. It isn’t always that easy to find something your partner really wants and she feels good about getting it for you.
Say thank you and enjoy the shoes you wanted and asked for.
YTA – by the time you lose 10 balls that $30 will mean nothing.
It’s a $30 difference. It’s your partner’s money and your partner’s choice. YTA for micromanaging their gift-giving.
I guess she likes you $30 more than you like her?
She did a nice thing and you treated her badly for wanting to give you a gift.
YTA
YTA for making this a big deal. Maybe you wouldn’t have asked without the sale, but she’s the one who didn’t take advantage in time — she decided she was fine with paying the lazy tax and now you’re making a big thing about not having the shoes so then SHE’S going to have to feel bad about not getting around to buying them earlier.
Just let it go.
Stop trying to control your GF for giving you a gift you asked for in the first place, but not EXACTLY in the way you wanted her to purchase it.
YTA $30 matters more to you than your gf’s feelings or happiness? If she saw some random thing for $30 and bought it for you, would you be just as annoyed over the money? Golf is an expensive hobby, and you will need new shoes soon enough. Be grateful she’s supporting you instead of resenting the time you’re off playing.
YTA. Try being gracious.
Jesus, really? Yes. YTA. Say thank you and wear them when your current ones wear out.
YTA
It’s $30 not $300, just be grateful and enjoy the shoes. As someone who loves to buy gifts, I’d be really sad if someone told me to return a gift I was excited to give.
YTA. She still went and bought you shoes, she showed you love by buying something you asked for and you weren’t even appreciative.
YTA and sound like a horrible partner. What is wrong with you? Why are you being so uncontrolling and ungrateful? Also why are you so obsessed with your feelings that you are unable to show any real concern for hers? There may be reasons why you feel and behave as you do BUT your partner should not have to put up with this treatment. Get some therapy or choose tp be single because you this isn’t how you behave towards someone you love.
Yta – have you always been this controlling? If it’s not done in your time frame or within your parameters then you dont accept it.