I work as a contractor in a corporate team. Next week our director is hosting a team BBQ at his house. He is a very senior leader, earns a high salary and lives quite a distance from most of the team.
Today a spreadsheet was circulated listing what everyone is expected to bring. Meat, salads, desserts, drinks, all of it. Every person including contractors was assigned something. The director hosting the event is not even listed as providing the main food.
Here is my issue.
To attend I would need to travel several hours each way on public transport. I would also have to carry whatever food I am responsible for during that entire commute. It’s summer too.
I genuinely do not understand why a work social event at a senior leaders home would not be catered or at least hosted more generously. A BBQ at a leaders house normally means show up relax we have it covered. At the very least you would expect the host to provide the main food and let others bring optional extras. Instead this feels like a potluck with a spreadsheet and long travel involved.
For context I was not even included in the original invite. Another contractor forwarded theirs to me. I do not think it was intentional but it did make me feel like an afterthought.
Given the distance the logistics and the fact that everyone is basically supplying the event themselves I decided not to go.
There is a lot of focus and banter around the excitement of this event. Everyone seems to be going.
My partner called the whole setup jaw droppingly ungenerous and said it is unreasonable to expect people to haul food across the city for a work event.
But now I am wondering if I should have just sucked it up to be a team player.
AITA for not attending?
NTA.
I’m curious about where they live in Australia that is hours on public transport? Northern Beaches of Sydney?
They are manly way.. I’m blue mountains!
That’s miles apart ! Definitely don’t go, that’s ridiculous.
Oh no! Trackwork again, sorry can’t make it…..
Always blame Sydney Trains or Transport NSW.
NTA
“Unfortunately I have other commitments that day.” No more needs to be said. They have no need or right to know what the commitments are, and if anyone does ‘dig’ excessively, a firm “I’m afraid it’s personal. Unfortunately I can’t attend.” will do.
Just be careful to not describe what a great time you had not sweating on public transport that weekend if asked afterwards!
“I didn’t receive an official invite from management like everyone else”
SUCH a pity you already have plans for that day, OP.
(No need to tell them that your plans for that day are to lie back on a banana lounge on your verandah with a good book and a drink.)
NTA.
NYA Potlucks are a thing, but in general people volunteer. You post what you’ll bring and other attendees adapt. And if you can’t make it, no harm.
This approach is nonsense
No. That’s absurd
Blue Mountains to Manly?! No thanks! Tell them you’ve already got plans with family this close to Christmas
For those that dont know that’s 1.5hrs by car (on a good day) 3hrs by public transport, with storms predicted for this weekend
lol as an Aussie, I approve this message.
You weren’t invited, wtf do you even care??
NTA
NTA. This is a very unreasonable ask, and a person hosting a barbecue absolutely should be providing the meat.