My wife and I have a 5yo son who is generally a good kid.
Yesterday I went home and my wife had left him alone and locked herself in our bedroom. She has severe depression and is pregnant so I understand she might get overwhelmed but that’s not a good excuse to just leave him alone. I asked what she was doing and she started to cry and said she is sorry but our son kept coming to our room and throwing tantrums and she just couldn’t handle it anymore so she locked the door.
My son said he is sorry and didn’t mean to be a bad kid and was just bored and promised not to do this again.
I snapped at my wife and berated her and she started to cry harder and won’t talk to me now.
AITA for berating her? I was just furious and worried. Something could have happened to out son.
>She has severe depression
>I snapped at my wife and berated her and she started to cry harder and won’t talk to me now.
YTA. She has depression. Get her to a doctor. The important thing here is that your son is fine. Your wife, however, is not.
As a mum who suffered severe PND and PPA, YTA. Everyone has a breaking point. If locking the door for a little while is what she needs to calm down, what’s the problem? My 5yo can watch a TV show for 10 mins while I catch my breath?
YTA. You’re getting mad at her for not handling an issue in a productive way but your solution is to berate her? How is that supposed to fix anything?
I have seen the advice from psycholigists to do exavtly that when you feel like blowing up on kid. YTA
Like your beratin was you loosing emotiinlonal control. To not loose it against kid, leave the room go to be alone for a bit.
100%. She has depression and was close to breaking point – as long as she made sure he was safe, she did exactly the right thing, and OP berated her for it instead of asking how he could help her
There is no way you wrote all that, read it over and then proceeded to think to yourself that you are in the right. Holy shit a very heavy YTA. You yelled at your pregnant and depressed wife just because she wanted a bit of peace.
Are you serious? YTA!!! Your pregnant wife reached her breaking point where she was actively crying while trying to explain the situation and you berated her for taking some time to herself?
YTA times a zillion. Your wife is depressed and obviously struggling, the very least you could do is NOT be a berating asshole. How about you try being a more supportive partner? Think about getting some help with caring for your son and therapy for your wife, and supporting her better.
YTA. Instead of consoling her and tell your kid calmly that her mom is going through a surge of emotions right now, you chose to berate your wife, who is currently in severe depression, pregnant, hormones are everywhere, and is trying her best not to hurt her child while having those emotions.
YTA – firstly, get your wife to a doctor asap. Depression and pregnancy is rough.
Your 5 year old can entertain himself for 10 mins whilst she calms down. And seriously locking the door and having some separation time is much safer then her reaching “breaking point” and whatever that might entail ….
Also, perhaps look at getting some outside care/vocational activities you can enroll your kid in to give your wife a break and help entertain him so he is enriched cos when baby #2 comes he’s going to be even more bored as most of mums time will be with the newborn for a few months + being extremely fatigued & post partum is very very hard.
YTA the message you are sending your kid is that your wife’s wants, needs and mental health do not matter, and he doesn’t need to take any responsibility for his behaviour
YTA. I’m not gonna say it was great that she left your son unsupervised and all, but he’s fine, she apologized, he apologized, the only person who is making more of a thing of it than it needs to be is you.
The beratings will continue until her depression improves.
YTA.
Admitting to berating your wife makes me think it was worse. No wonder your kid throws tantrums.