Before I start I just want to say that I am going to abbreviate any names for convenience.
My friend H (Male) had a crush on this girl, L. Me and H share the same friend group.
About a month or so ago during a school day, I was with our friend group outside and H wasn’t with the rest of us. L came up to me and said hi and I said hi back (I forgot to mention she knew who I was prior to this interaction). I thought she may have been looking for H since she was already talking to him at the time and she came up to us so I said that H wasn’t with us, to which she replied that she wasn’t looking for him. I’m pretty sure I said to her that I thought she might have been looking for him which is why I told her H wasn’t with us at the time but my memory is a bit hazy. H learned about this interaction later and said that I ruined his chances with her because me saying to her that he wasn’t with us at the time made it seem like he was desperately looking for her and trying to be with her (I don’t understand why he thinks that).
Fast forward to now, they haven’t talked for a while. She hasn’t messaged him, he hasn’t messaged her (might be because he believes I messed up his chances but I’m not too sure). AITA or was he being dramatic?
NTA. Your mate H is making some logical leaps wider than the solar system.
NTA. Were you a little indiscreet and perhaps accidentally hinted that he may like her? Yeah. Was it an asshole move? Absolutely not.
Thank you. All I said was that he wasn’t there because I thought she was looking for him since out of our whole friend group, she only talks to him. I honestly can’t understand how that would mess everything up.
You didn’t mess it up. She obviously wasn’t interested in him and his ego couldn’t take it. So, he blames you
Tbf I think she could’ve been since when they first met, she asked for his Snapchat first but because he hasn’t talked to her for a while she’s probably forgot about him.
peoples lives are messy. nta
NTA. I really hope you are all under 18 because this is very young behavior. If you are, then good news… the answer is pretty simple. Tell your friend to just talk to her and tell her something kind and true (like she is pretty and smart). You didn’t ruin anything. That isn’t how any of that works.
If you are older than 18, then really… same advice really, but try to grow up a bit. You are too old for this.
We’re all under 18. And yeah, I’m aware this is textbook teenager behaviour 😂 I did tell him to message her but it’s been that long he says he’s over her now and doesn’t care so there’s not much to be done now. I appreciate your advice tho.
You ruined nothing. She just wasn’t that into him.
So what happened after L said she wasn’t looking for H? I feel like we’re missing something otherwise why would H react that way? Did H find out L was interested in you?
This is so weird.
NTA. Sounds like you’re dealing with high-school-level drama. Your buddy clearly can’t handle rejection. Note that she came up to you and also said she wasn’t looking for him. That might be her showing interest in you.
NTA 😭😭This is so silly, your friend will stop being mad at you soon, he’s just being dramatic and overanalysing the whole interaction. No girl would stop talking to a guy just because his friend said that he thought the girl was looking for him.
NTA.
H sounds very tiring to be around, and the deeper meaning of this whole interaction only exists in his mind.
NTA
Nothing you said sounds even vaguely like you telling her he has a thing for her. Simply stating that he isn’t present is exactly that, stating that he isn’t there.
Your friend seems too young, or too immature, for dating.