hello. for backround context both me and my friend are autistic so sometimes our communication becomes unclear in terms of intentions and both parties get really defensive. my friend is really blunt and confronting, meanwhile i shut down with any confrontation and try to shut down any conflict asap because i am very sensitive and my happiness deeply relies on the happiness of other people. with that in mind, i will start. my friend recently started dating this girl and im very happy for them but sometimes its annoying how much they talk about her, but none the less, i try to show interest and always tell them how happy i am for the two of them (which i am.) one more thing to mention, there is a 7h difference between this friend and i, so i had a lot of hw today and i only got done at 11pm (my time) and went to check my messages. my friend texted about how excited they are that them and their gf are close to 2 months, just 13 days away. i point out how thats almost half a month without thinking how it may come off and immediately started correcting myself by what i meant, then they started telling me i was rude (which ill admit, i was) and i kept saying it wasnt on purpose and that i wasnt thinking about how itd sound. this time my friend was the one who shut down the conflict but i didnt want it to end on a bad note so i tried to keep talking about it and they said "that it wasnt their responsibility to make me feel better" but then later claimed "that i should be more sensitive to the people care about" (?) im not sure but those seem to contradict each other. anyways they told me that they wont be talking to me about their gf anymore and just will tell someone else and this is the part i found the most baffling, because whenever i mention that i already told someone about something that i hadnt told them, they get super offended and hurt and i dont understand how that isnt a two way street. they refused to take any explanation or apology for my comment. aita?
ESH – you for speaking without thinking how your friend would take it and your friend for blowing it out of proportion
NTA, it’s not that deep and you’re probably fed up with the constant going on about their partner when all in all it’s been a month and a half, just try next time to say “how nice” and move on for the sake of peace
NTA – I understand that having autism makes socialising hard for both of you, but really you didn’t say anything real bad, yes your words might be a bit as if you’re correcting them, a simple “sorry I shouldn’t have said that” should be enough. It’s difficult being friends with someone who you have to walk on eggshells around because they get very sensitive over every little thing and blow it out of proportion.