# I have already concluded on doing something else, I may be an asshole but I’m not dense
Heyhey. So, I live with my Fiance (V, F21) My brother (P, M24) and Two friends (M F23 and J F21)
This has to do with J
She brings company over relatively often with little notice to anyone else in the house (Related), and recently my credit card and M’s wallet were stolen.
Ive known J since I was a kid (6 or so?) So I trusted her more than anything. Recently, within the past few years, shes gotten a bit nasty. I’ve forgiven her, to a certain degree, but I’m still weary.
With that in mind, and her carelessness with bringing over strangers, V and I have discussed putting up cameras around our house. None would point at sensitive areas (like towards beds or anything of the like) but towards where more important things are stored.
I want to have solid proof of anything before throwing accusations, but I’m LIVID at this situation. We already plan on setting up a ring doorbell, but that can only do so much if people are welcomed into our home and steal things.
I dont want to tell them because then they could cover cameras, especially if J is covering for people, and make them effectively useless.
CLARITY EDITs;
1. The cameras would focus where we have our valuables, so like towards my fiance and I’s desks in our office, and where people in the house store bags. Main house areas would be largely unaffected
2. All the items that were previously stolen were taken out of bedrooms.
3. I dont think it was J, I think it was one of her friends.
Edit for my peace of mind; Theres going to be a long talk happening later today, and I’ll bring it up then. Perhaps even write a signed agreement sorta thing.
The dozen and a half people whove given feedback are appreciated, to a certain degree. Sass was unnecessary but valid. Cheers.
also, Frankly, My other option is to tell J exactly who I think it is with no proof and get her the hell out of my house, ruining one of my few friendships
FINAL EDIT; I will be talking to them, though I’m awful at putting things out there without sounding like an ass, so oh well, I’ll be an ass either way, but with more peace of mind than before.
**- Hello yes strangers, I’m very well aware my handling of this a very asshole way of handling it. I have taken the already given criticism and am going to**
**1) talk to my housemates about what happened**
**2) discuss where cameras should go if we get them (IF)**
**3) get better locks for doors**
im done interacting here, and I’m done reading here. if you have something to say that isnt just about how I’m an asshole, or wasnt already said by someone else, youre welcome to dm me.
Yes unless they only cover your room
You wouldn’t be the AH for wanting cameras, but you would be if you installed them secretly. Housemates deserve to know when they’re being recorded, even if it’s just common areas.
Yes YTA if you did. People expect privacy in their home.
YWBTA. People deserve to know and consent (or not) to being recorded in their own home. You would be hugely in the wrong to be filming her without her knowledge and consent.
I don’t need context. YTA. If you are monitoring shared spaces, you need to tell the people who share those spaces. That is a major breach of privacy. I don’t care what was stolen. This isn’t okay
YTA Put cameras in your room and keep your valuables in your room. It’s an invasion of privacy and it’s creepy to put secret cameras in a shared living space.
YTA unless you tell them.
Best case you end up ruining friendships and in a huge fist fight over unknowingly recording someone who walks around naked while nobody else is home, and they out you and publicly shame you.
Worst case, you land in jail for breaking wiretapping/eavesdropping laws.
There are not many places in the world that allow you to secretly record conversations legally.
Yes YWBTA. They would definitely see it as an invasion of privacy if they found out you were essentially filming them without their consent.
YTA if you don’t tell them.
Here’s a wild idea: keep your valuables in your room if you don’t trust people in your house.
If you are just putting a camera in your room that is your private space, I don’t think that would be an issue, but in the other common areas there might be some legal issues in not telling your roommates.
If you don’t tell them, yes YTA.
How would you feel about being secretly recorded in your own home? When they find out, and they will, it will not end well. It doesn’t matter where you say the cameras would be focused, you would still be secretly recording your housemates.
Would you be as livid if it were someone who visited you in your home? It seems like this is a message to you and all of your housemates to be careful of you personal belongings when you have guests. Where were you and M storing your credit card and wallet so that others had access to it?
YWBTA. Store your valuables in your own private space and secure them and install cameras in your own private space if you are worried about people breaking in and stealing.
Installing cameras in common areas without notifying the people that cohabitate with you breaks half a dozen laws pretty much anywhere on earth.