My dad recently confessed to an affair he had while married to my mom (late 90s divorced since ’09) My dad has always been known to get around so no one is surprised by this. I’ve talked to a few people and expressed my heavy disinterest in meeting this girl. Some people have told me that it would be rude of me to not meet her because it isn’t her fault- I agree it’s not her fault but it’s also not really my problem or place to be concerned with a stranger’s feelings even if we do share dna So AITA??
EDIT to answer questions
-She wants to meet us Added all of us on social media
-My father isn’t facilitating any meeting as half his kids don’t talk to him
-My sister sent her a kind message asking to give us some space to process such big news and suggested a lunch eventually
-She’s been in the same town as us all these years so we had mutual friends online When I reached out to them no one had good things to say like her being racist (we’re mixed) constant family drama and issues with her baby daddy This just doesn’t sound like a person I want in my life so I don’t see the point in even meeting
NTA, you’re not obligated to build a relationship with someone just because you share DNA. It’s true that none of this is her fault, but that also doesn’t make it your responsibility
NTA. It’s not her fault, but you don’t have to out yourself in a situation that’s going to trigger you either.
NTA – you’re not being rude, you just don’t want a relationship an you’re in no way obligated to try and build one. You’re dad just feels guilty and wants to play happy families
NTA. It’s not her fault, but neither is yours, you don’t owe them anything you don’t want to do
Your feelings are perfectly valid. No it’s not rude. It’s your choice of time, of place or if you ever want to be reminded of your father’s betrayal. Why should you be pressured to affirm the results of it?
you’re not obligated to meet her at all. it’s okay to have boundaries especially with family stuff that’s this messy and it doesn’t make you a bad person for not wanting to be involved.
Absolutely NTA
You’re not remotely responsible for your dad’s poor choices. Why would he even think you’d be interested? To justify his actions by making a nice happy family? Hell nah!
NTA you don’t owe the half sibling or your dad anything in this situation. Personally I’d just say no thanks, but try not to say anything too harsh or permanent. If your feelings change in the future and you get curious , you may want to say hi.
NTA. It’s not her fault, but it’s not your fault or responsibility either.
If you don’t want to meet her you don’t have to. She’s an adult, she can deal.
NTA. Before my dad passed, I found out I have a half brother. We met once but never kept in touch all these years. There’s really no interest.
NTA. I agree that it’s not her fault, but you have a say in the matter too. If you don’t want a relationship with your half sister, that’s all up to you as well. It’s 100% your choice and your choice only, especially since you’re an adult. It doesn’t matter what others around you say.
NTA. 100% your call to make, don’t listen to anyone else, this only affects you.
NTA.
If you ever meet her (family event or whatever inevitability, dads funeral etc) just don’t take anything out on her she’s not responsible for.
But no, NTA if you choose not to meet her or form a relationship with her.
NTA. It’s not her fault, but she’s also not owed a relationship with you