WIBTA for not buying my bf’s niece an Xmas gift this year? I’ve bought her bday gifts and Xmas gifts before but never received a thank you. Not once. I’ve made a cake she enjoyed but never said thank you for it and even said that she wanted her grandmother to make it instead of me…. In front of me… Amongst other things she’s done… its really disheartening and I don’t feel appreciated when I try to make a positive connection with her since she’s at the house a lot.
I feel bad not doing it but also I feel the lack of respect more, especially now I have to be very careful of my money.
So WIBTA for not getting her an Xmas gift this year?
Gifts are just that – gifts. They aren’t mandatory. The issue for you is the politics of it all – might want to let boyfriend know in advance that sorry, times are tough, you have to cut back on gift giving this year so nothing for the niece. NTA.
How old is she? I’m also unclear on why she’s at your house and why you were the one making her cakes and getting her gifts; she is your BF’s niece, not yours.
How old of a person are we talking about? A 5 year old not being grateful? I can understand that. A 15 year old being rude, I could side with you
Is there a reason you aren’t doing joint gifts? I wouldn’t expect a whole separate gift from a family member’s partner; I would expect him to get something or you to pick something together and put both names on it.
She’s young and you’d be punishing her when it’s her parents who aren’t teaching her manners. You can get her something small especially if you’re going to see her on xmas.
I do think you have an issue you have to work on though. Why are you going all out for someone who isn’t even your family? Why are you making a cake – this isn’t your responsibility, you aren’t even married into this family. She told you she didn’t want you to make the cake. You’re people pleasing.
After reading Op’s comments, adding YTA
NTA. I don’t know how old this kid is, but I have multiple family friends with kids ranging from 3 to mid-teens. In all these families, all the kids know how to say “thank you”. The kid may be a thankless brat or just ill-mannered because she wasn’t raised any better. Either way, you definitely wouldn’t be the asshole to stop putting your time and money out there for a kid who doesn’t seem in any way appreciative. Put your effort where it matters and that ain’t with this kid.
The gift should be your bf’s problem. Don’t buy anything.
Do not get her anymore gifts let her uncle buy her stuff. You are doing to too much stop trying to buy her affection she didn’t need a cake from you. This child will continue to walk all over you because you are people pleasing.
Give her a pack of thank you notes and a card. “Merry Christmas. You are welcome.”
have you considered buying her a package of Thank You cards?
That’s your BF’s niece not yours. Gifting is his purview here not yours. Put that burden down and smile!
I don’t buy Christmas gifts for my own nieces and nephews. I wouldn’t expect someone that isn’t even married into the family to be buying my nieces and nephews gifts. Definitely not the asshole.
YWNBTA at all. If she dares to complain just tell her the truth, that she has never seemed the least bit appreciative of your gifts or your baking so you decided to let her live her life without your generosity. LOL