My gf says that zeroing out the microwave of remaining cook time causes her undue burden when she needs to reheat food. If she is using the microwave and there’s cook time still present from the last use, she calls me over to press the clear button, this is usually not a problem because I’m frequently more or less present with her near the microwave. I legitimately try to remember to clear it when finished, but I forget to do so pretty regularly. To me, pressing clear before entering a cook time is a non issue, so a lot of times forgetting to clear when finished just doesn’t register to me. Pressing the clear button when finished microwaving is equally trivial, but I honestly can’t help my forgetfulness most times.
This morning, I was lying in bed and she came to me saying that I continuously disrespect her and demanded I come and push the clear button for her. I told her no, as I feel getting out of bed just to do this dance was unnecessary when she could have just pushed the clear button and gone about her day with food in hand.
AITA?
Soooooooooooooooo put a post-it on the microwave to help you remember.
After she voiced it to you the first time, every subsequent failure to zero-out the microwave cooking time is proof to her that you don’t care.
Yes, it’s ridiculous and over the top but this feels like the smallest ask, dude.
I’m going to put ESH because like…. y’all are just petty children lol
NTA this is insane lmao
This. It’s stupid, but similar to the toilet seat debate. I can’t imagine being with someone so petty.
For the record, easiest (most fair and cleanest) solution to the toilet seat debate is that everyone closes the lid when they are done. Then everyone has to lift something when they use it. By closing the lid before flushing you avoid spraying dirty toilet water all over the bathroom when you flush.
ESH, learn to press a button, neither of you should be making it as big of a deal as it is since its JUST PRESSING A FUCKING BUTTON
but if either of you want to destroy the relationship over it then good luck
INFO: how exactly are you ending up in this situation so often? All the microwaves I have ever used in my many decades of life self-clear the cook time when done and the door has been opened.
If you are constantly pulling out things and declaring them done when only part-way through the cook time, you really need to learn how to use a microwave and enter correct timing.
Pushing ONE BUTTON on a microwave is “undue burden?” Yikes. I get that it’s a minor annoyance, but there are way worse things in the world.
You get that every time you tell her you just forget to do it, she’s interpreted it as her feelings don’t matter to you, right?
This is an insanely dumb hill to die on, however she has ask you to remedy a behavior or yours that bothers her, and instead of telling her you will, or you will not, you tell her you forget to. That is being translated as “I don’t care enough about what YOU want to change my behavior.”
This clearing of the button thing is dumb and weird. ESH.
No one is perfect, but it is a unique type of infuriating that will drive you mad if you’re in a relationship with someone who appears to understand where you’re coming from, but will forget to address the root of the behavior you’re asking them to.
It’s called basic humaning…doing things so that the next person doesn’t need to clean up or clear out your laziness.
* Zero out the microwave – Press clear so that the next person doesn’t start to program the microwave and then realize they have reset your time before they can enter in their settings.
* Replace the empty toilet paper – Use the last piece and you’re responsible to properly put out a new roll.
* Replace the tissue paper – Use the last sneeze sheet and you’re responsible to open and out a new box.
* Pour the last coffee from a communal pot at work – You make the next pot.
The zeroing out may be a non-issue to you, but it is an issue to your GF and she has expressed that to you. You not actively trying to address this issue essentially says you don’t care. Forgetfulness is incompetency unless you have a mental disorder where you don’t remember things. Still, there are coping mechanisms and reminder systems you can use instead shrugging her off.
You don’t say if you were asleep, but regardless, coming in and demanding that you press the button was somewhat overkill, yet she’s probably feeling that you never listen to her when she communicates her needs. This morning just was the last straw. Personally, I would have found some other form of petty revenge. 🤣
I’m going to take a wild guess here and say that the microwave is the straw that broke the camels back.
You both sound annoying. ESH
Okay, is it a major issue? No. But she’s said it bothers her and you continue to do it anyways. Like you said, it’s just a simple button press. So why can’t you?
This is not about hitting a zero time button on a microwave. Or in other cases, putting down the toilet seat, or the toothpaste tube, or rinsing dishes before putting in the sink/ diah washer, clothes in the hamper. Those are catalysts and not the cause of the problem. The problem is boundaries. Take it from an old granny-mamma – you two are not hearing and listening each other and it comes out as “How many times do I have to ask you to…”
zero out the microwave, put your clothes in the hamper, rinse the dishes, or pick any other small thing. What is really being said is I’ve had it, you’ve been asked to not do something, continue to do the something, never stop doing that something. This is how after years or decades of marriage the one person ends up shocked when divorce papers are handed to them – but I helped with the kids, the bills were paid, vacations were planned, gifts gotten for occasions so I don’t understand what is wrong. What is wrong is you didn’t listen, really listen, communicate, and respect the small boundaries and then one day, the microwave is blinking 16 seconds and they are done and check out. Does it really matter if the microwave isn’t zero? Nope because anyone can press the button. What matters is that you love, care, and respect this person enough to push the zero button so they do not have to do it.
“It’s not about the Iranian Yogurt” is what OP’s post reminds me of
I thought about this classic:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288/amp