My boyfriend told me at the beginning of our relationship that he could not eat onion due to an allergy. Because of that I removed onion from basically everything I cook even though it completely ruins a lot of flavor profiles. Over the last two years I have caught him regularly eating onion in guacamole, jarred sauces, and processed foods without any issue.
The guacamole incident was especially ridiculous. I noticed he ordered it often and asked why onion never bothered him in that. He put on a whole act like the restaurant should have warned him because he got no onion on his burrito. The restaurant explained there was no onion on the burrito but he ordered guacamole and did not specify no onion. They also explained that guacamole is made earlier in the day and onion cannot be removed. He even argued with me that onion is not normally in guacamole.
Despite all this he continues to insist onion is a major problem. The thing is he clearly does not have an issue with the flavor since he eats it unknowingly all the time. It seems like texture is the real issue which would be completely understandable, but instead of just saying that he exaggerated the problem and now rewrites his reactions depending on whether he knows onion is present. That makes me feel gaslit.
This past week he suggested we make fajitas which obviously include onion and bell pepper. I questioned it and he said he wanted to try. While cooking he commented on how good it smelled and afterward kept talking about how good it tasted. Tonight I made bolognese with onion. He started eating and said yum. After finding out I used onion he dramatically put his fork down and said he knew it tasted like shit. I got angry and told him this was ridiculous. He liked it until he knew there was onion in it just like the guacamole situation.
At this point I called him childish! I regularly eat foods I very much dislike just because he will eat it. He’s selfish and we can’t afford to make two separate dinners all the time.
🤣🤣🤣 He sounds like my husband. Absolutely didn’t want garlic in anything. I regularly added garlic and he never knew because it cooked down and melded with the other flavors. An onion allergy is EXTREMELY rare. He probably just doesn’t like cooked onions. I don’t either unless they are so mixed up in the sauce or meal that they aren’t noticeable.
NTA. It’s all a bit silly.
NTA. He probably started telling people he was allergic because in my experience, when people figure you just don’t like something, they start trying to figure out ways to sneak it into your dishes to prove you actually DO like it. If they think you’ll die about it they might just leave you alone and take you seriously when you say no. He should have just come clean and talked to you about it, though.
Yeah, this happens a lot. I cant stand the texture and taste of celery, you tell someone who likes cooking you hate celery and it ends up in absolutely everything. I can understand why someone would say theyre allergic if thats a regular occurrence, its just.. easier than having that conversation every time..
Though now i just painstakingly remove every peice of it from my food before eating it if its there, and people usually get the message, which works far better than the other options.
To be clear, NTA to a light ESH, I imagine its kinda frustrating to find out after all that work, but to play devil’s advocate for your bf, food aversions are a real thing, and can be awful to deal with the bullshit of being fed something you despise, which can make eating a chore, and no one taking you seriously, can be a nightmare. My ex would do this trying to “expand my horizons” and some days I just could not eat her cooking and went hungry because it was easier than having the same conversation over and over again, which would involve her crying that she was “just trying to be nice”. Exhausting stuff..
I hate onions. They are among my top 3 things I don’t want to eat. It’s mainly the texture but sometimes also the taste and smell since. It smells like sweat to me….
My family always got a problem with my dislike for it tho. Even when I cook for myself I am supposed to put onions in in case one of them wants to have some.
I can understand why he used the allergy excuse but at least with his partner he should be able to be honest.
I hate onions too. If I bite into one, raw or cooked, I instantly gag due to the taste. My bf gave me his leftover sandwich once that was pork, onions and mushrooms (which I also hate) and when I told him I couldn’t eat it because the onions were mixed in, he told me to “grow up and just eat them.” I had to explain to a 32 year old man that I can’t just decide that eating onion won’t make me uncontrollably retch.
Stop feeding him, let him manage his own food?
So, um, if he’s that big of a baby, why does it sound like you’re doing the majority of the cooking? Whenever I have a meal on the meal plan that one of the family members doesn’t like, they can either suck it up or offer up their own option that they will cook. If he’s this big of a pain, make him Master Chef.
And maybe insist that in order to make sure you’re avoiding cooking any foods that might aggravate any potential allergies, he needs to go get tested for food allergies and share those results with you so that you can best adjust your cooking when you do make meals. Because let’s face it, he’s boldfaced lying to you, which is bad enough, but being an AH when he’s caught is going an extra mile and acting like he’s two.
YWBTA if you continue to put up with this BS. He needs to grow up, do what big kids do and pick out foods he doesn’t like when he comes across them in his meals like you know, an adult, and he needs to be honest with you and quit being an AH when he gets busted. And you need to hold him accountable and quit letting him steamroll you.
I have allergies that express as eczema, hay fever, hives, and anaphylactic reactions. I also don’t eat onions. I’m very clear with my family about which foods will make me miserable or kill me, and which are ones I just don’t like.
Onions- it’s the texture unless they are cooked enough to caramelize into one sweet overcooked pile. My husband cooks with them but leaves them in big pieces so I can pull them out and not have to eat them.
Yeah. Your bf is childish. It’s a fair call.
Nta.
Leave him. He can easily say that he doesn’t like onion and whatever the reason is. Lying about a food allergy is no joke. Also his reactions are rude af. Don’t cook for him anymore.
NTA but do you not have any self respect?
This is what you consider a good candidate for dating?
You would want this man raising a kid with you?
Cmon if you’re posting to reddit about him being childish, but you’re DATING HIM, that just makes me think you’re just as childish.
Someone I know is allergic to raw onions. Raw onion juice makes her physically ill, with a histamine-like reaction causing swelling and a rash in her mouth if she bites into it and vomiting if swallowed. She has no problem with dehydrated, powdered or cooked onions if they are caramelized into the recipe, like in spaghetti sauce. If there’s big pieces, like in Chinese food, she eats around it.
Some people metabolize it differently, causing horrible BO. Your BF’s problem with onions is a weapon. Stop giving him ammunition by telling him there’s onion in what you cooked. Unless he starts having a physical allergic reaction, he’s just being dramatic. But keep some Benadryl on hand just in case.
NTA, my eldest child will not tolerate the texture of onions or mushrooms, but has never skipped a meal where they are blended. Compromise is important, but it fails if you refuse to communicate. If he told you it was a texture issue, you could have worked with that to keep you both happy. Instead he selfishly decided to make it a pretend allergy without thinking of the concern it could cause you and the extra work too. Personally this would be a deal breaker for me, as I live in a household with genuine allergies and intolerances I respect the work put into making food safe for the people involved.
If he’s okay to lie about this, what else will he lie about? Tread carefully if you decide to stay with this one.
NTA – as donkey days to Shrek “you’re all wrapped up in layers, onion boy”
If you don’t like the taste, own it. Don’t make up an allergy which instantly causes more pressure and stress for the person cooking. He is being childish. You were right
NTA
Move on. You aren’t enjoying FOOD because he’s lying. Can you imagine putting up with that from anyone else? I had a friend who didn’t like tomatoes so she told everyone she was allergic, but she had ketchup and tomato sauce over pasta etc. Allergies can be extremely serious, pretending you have one as a adult is ridiculous. It’s ok to have food preferences, it’s not ok to hold other people’s food hostage because you don’t like something.