My parents bought me a mobile home for 20k I accepted it under the condition that they would let me remodel it anyway I wanted it the beginning we made a really really simple plan completely open kitchen and living room. Space I wanted to move the laundry room and I showed them pictures of the kind of appliances. I wanted everything really small basically cottage core vibes super simple. I didn’t want any fancy cabinets or drawers or anything like that. I just wanted everything really simple for the kitchen. I really am into the idea of unfitted kitchens fast-forward six months and they have pretty much invested their own money. They helped me buy new tubs for both of the bathroom. They helped me buy the sealer for the roof. They’ve helped me buy wood. To replace the subfloor and starting this month, I started to pay for everything I paid for the insulation because we completely removed the insulation I paid for the electrical work that was done. Here’s where the problem comes. Is that my dad remodeled things he added a wall to the kitchen, which I told him I didn’t want. He also put in space for these ginormous appliances. He put another electrical socket in for a microwave. I personally don’t have microwaves and have never had microwaves in any of my other apartments. He expanded the washroom into my bedroom so now my bedroom is smaller so we could have a bigger washroom because he did not listen when I told him that I was going to have a small stackable washer and dryer that I didn’t need all of that room and he keeps talking about the resale value And I’m like I’m not here to resell. He also ignored my wishes for a double barn door going into my bathroom and instead change the whole layout gave me a single regular door and he keeps putting electrical sockets in different places because he swears that I’m gonna want a TV mounted mind you I am a 30-year-old woman who has gone through a divorce and previous to this. I’ve had one house three different apartments and never in any of those locations have I ever had a TV in my bedroom never have I owned a microwave and they’re not listening to me at all . Am I the asshole for complaining about these changes?
NAH. You are allowed to have your own desires and wishes for what the place you are going to live in looks like. The issues though is given that your dad is paying and doing all the work he’s also allowed to have his opinions. This is the issue with accepting gifts, you don’t always get the gift you want. Perhaps try to be as present as possible during any future remodeling to “assist/supervise” and make your thoughts known in a polite way and push back when he disagrees. (Also, he’s right about the power outlets, more is always better).
Dude !! Come-on , You are 30 years old. A gift with strings attached isn’t a gift; it’s a dog’s leash. You explicitly agreed to this under the condition that you could remodel it your way. Your father is treating your home like his personal LEGO set. It doesn’t matter if he thinks he’s ‘improving’ the resale value—he is making the space unlivable for the actual person living there. Stop the work now before he adds a nursery you didn’t ask for.”
Yes.. yta.. you accept the help but “envision” the help as your idea. Sounds like your parents have paid for most if not almost all of the expenses (insulation is probably the least expensive material you have mentioned and not a word about you personally “installing” the material.)
SO… YES YTA !
I would keep my trap shut if anyone was concerned enough for my well-being to create a residence for me.
Who has title? You? If so, sell it (he did say everything he was doing is for resale right). Give him back his investment for the remodel. Go buy another one and explain to him you are doing it your way with your money and accept no help.
However if he has title, this is his home and you are living on his dime. Say nothing, save your money and go buy one of your own.
I have the title it’s under my name, my mom wanted me to do the same because she’s on my side and she agreed to do things how I wanted it but right now it’s so gutted to the bare bones that I don’t think I can get what they paid for
Let him finish it up. Keep track of receipts, put no more of your money into it. When done sell it.
You’re a 30 year old single woman getting a free house and renovations from your parents yta just accept it and be greatful.
You are a huge asshole and a user. Yuck.
Anything you want!
…as long as it doesn’t affect the resale value of a trailer is crazypants
They didn’t mean it, not if it wasn’t their vision also
You will outlast the trailer, and now that it’s less what you want it’s more likely you’ll need the features he “added” this making him right. If you stay but are miserable, he’s still:right’s because it ‘doesnt hurt to have ‘
Either way he “wins” and you lose and they will likely never see it that way
NTA
Info. Will this house be in your name or is it their house and that are letting you stay there?
NTA for wanting things set up to accommodate how you want to live, and it’s disrespectful for your dad to keep acting like he knows better. That may come in part from the fact that he bought it for you and feels like he gets a say but honestly it feels more like the societal sexism that treats a divorced woman like a child coming home from their first year of uni. But don’t get me started…
Ultimately what you do about this depends on if the unit is in your name or your parents and not on their property? And do you need them to pay for anything else? If possible, change the locks (put more secure ones on or add deadbolts or something which gives you an excuse) and then tell your parents thank you but you’re taking over the renovations from here. Don’t let him do anything else on his own like that.
*And just a side note, while he definitely should have asked and listened to you, I’m with your dad on having a regular door for your bathroom – it’s not cute but if you have guests over and need to use the toilet, you’ll appreciate having the sound/odor blocking that a regular door provides (that sliding barn doors don’t). But otherwise sounds like you’re planning a super cute space and your dad is just in default “this is how it’s done” mode with no consideration to how you’ll actually live! Having more and bigger appliances really effects how much space you have left and you’ll regret putting your foot down for years while you live in this space. (Or you’ll end up selling it and getting your own that you can rebuild how you want.)
NTA but just let him finish it and then resell and use that for a down payment for something else or invest it and rent.