I (26F) rescued a pug this year and he has been the best thing for my mental health as I live alone, so he keeps me from going crazy. He is extremely well behaved and goes everywhere with me that I can take him.
For New Years, a friend has invited a few of us to her dad’s house out of town. It’s really nice and we’re looking forward to the trip. She specifically invited my dog to come along too.
My boyfriend (30M) has been against me having a dog from day 1. He was really not supportive of the process and always complains about how much my dog sheds etc. He obviously does not want me to bring the dog, and so he’s said I cannot come in his car with my dog. Either I must drive with someone else or I must leave the dog at home.
His reasoning is that the dog sheds a lot and he’s worried he might scratch the seats or throw up or pee in the car. I’ve told him that this is very unlikely but offered to buy a protective seat cover, and to pay for a car wash after the trip to get rid of any hair/dirt. He’s still refusing.
I told him that then I would be travelling down with another friend who doesn’t mind me bringing the dog in their car. However, this friend is going down a day earlier than BF and I had planned, meaning I will have to miss a birthday party of one of BF’s friends.
BF is now very upset with me for missing the birthday party, for insisting on bringing my dog and not travelling with him. AITA?
You do know this is a forever thing? This isnt a one off argument? So either waste next 5 years of him hating your dog and making demands or enjoy a single festive period and your new dog.
Honestly op has pretty much told him this relationship is nothing. Its not going past the living seperate dating phase. She made that choice.
Yep, id maaaybe feel differently if the dog was pre relationship, bit it wasn’t. She just only cared about her wants. The boyfriend deserves someone who will care about his feelings.
NTA
Your boyfriend sounds like much higher maintenance than your dog, so leave him at home and take the dog. He’ll only gripe all the time and you’ll have more fun with your puppy. \[Be suspicious of non-dog people\]
I was going to say that, too. The leave him home & take the dog part. You beat me to it.
NTA Make sure your dog is chipped. So your dog doesn’t “accidently get out/lost”. BF is never going to change his mind about dog. Dump him & find someone who loves dogs like you do.
NAH purely for the scenario. It is fine that he didn’t want the dog in his car (people are allowed to not like dogs/not be fans of family taking dogs everywhere with them), and you are fine making accommodations that suit you better. Doesn’t seem like this will last though
Quick question. If you continue seeing said boyfriend, and things get more serious, are you going to give up your pet for him?
100% no. I’ve told him that if he wants to be with me he needs to accept that there will always be dogs.
He clearly doesn’t… I know everyone on reddit always jumps to “dump his ass” but why is he trying to control what you, a grown adult woman, can do?
YTA but not solely because you want to take the dog. You got a dog you knew your boyfriend didnt want, so if you planned to have a future with him, that’s gone. I don’t know how long yall have been together, but if its over a year and you were dating for a future, you should have had that talk together. You get to have a dog if you want. He gets to be unhappy you got a dog. You should probably end things while its reasonably amicable and find a dog lover to date.
Feels like there’s something missing here. Did dog become the center focus of all things in your life? Are you that person that carrys your dog around grocery stores and insists dog is with you at all times? If so I get his perspective and YTA. If you have a healthy attachment to your dog, do leave it or ask others to care for it at times, and just want to bring it this time, and he’s trying to be manipulative, the NTA.
I will say if you’re sharing a bed on this trip and he hates the hair, YTA
NAH
Your bf doesn’t want the dog in bis car and in his defense, pugs DO shed a fuck ton and dog nails can scratch/puncture car seat upholstery. His car, his rules.
But you aren’t an asshole for wanting to bring your dog, especially if your dog was invited.
This may be a turning point in your relationship.