My wife (29F) and myself (28M) have decided we’re not going anywhere or hosting for Christmas this year – as our baby will be less than a week old on Christmas. Too many people, germs, and chaos for a baby that small. We’ve mentioned this before, but haven’t said much about it because we thought it would be common sense that we wouldn’t be doing anything for the holidays.
Enter my Mom…"Betty" we’ll call her. I casually mentioned it again few days ago, and she got all mad about it. She says that we’re denying her the chance to see her first grandchild’s first Christmas just because we’re "helicopter parents". Betty is now refusing to go to any other holiday celebrations within the family because we’re not coming.
AITA for not attending Christmas this year?
NTA
Let her throw a fit, your boundary is what’s best for your kid. If she wants to see her grandchild she’ll relent… eventually.
NTA. You’re mum is an idiot. Would she rather you spend the holidays in the hospital? The baby is a potato right now, as if she’s going to celebrate her first Christmas.
NTA. No way should you take a one week old baby around other people. Shame on your mom for failing to consider what is best for her grandchild.
NTA. Baby will be too young, your wife will be recovering from wherever the baby pops out of, sleep will be minimal for all of you.
Your mom is TA though.
NTA
As a mother she should understand seeing as she was once a new mom.
Just stick to your plans, she’s using emotional blackmail.
It’s important to keep your newborn healthy!
Everyone knows that the new parents usually keep the baby away from going out and being among groups of people for a certain period after Mom and baby come home from the hospital.
Follow your doctor or midwife’s instructions on that & offer Betty a zoom call and/or some nice photos that no one else got so she can go be the center of the attention as a new grandmama.
And if you’re both exhausted and that’s too much, don’t stress it—take care of yourselves!
NTA. What your mother chooses to do is up to her, even if it is an overly dramatic attempt at manipulation.
You’re making the right choice for your family. And it is absolutely common sense that you wouldn’t be attending with a week old baby.
Best to establish now that you are going to do what is best for your family, and that your family is your wife and children first.
Wait, even if this isn’t about a young baby – your wife will be maybe a week postpartum? She isn’t going to feel like leaving or hosting. Nta.
This. You can’t predict what her birth/recovery will be like. I had complications with my first and still couldn’t walk one week postpartum, much less go to a holiday gathering!
NTA the risk is real plus your wife will actively be recovering. Your mom is completely unreasonable.
Absolutely NTA too many grown adults don’t know how to NOT get all germy with a baby. (Like kissing. For some odd reason??) And your wife would still be recovering. You and baby need a break. If Betty can’t handle that, too bad.
NTA. On top of the baby being so little, your wife will still be recovering from the birth. Stay home and enjoy your Christmas with just the 3 of you!
I’m a health care provider and the Infectious Disease MD at our hospital lectures anyone who will listen about keeping your flu/Covid/RSV vax current because this flu season is expected to be pretty bad. Of course you shouldn’t take your young infant to a family gathering. NTA. Shame on your mom.
Then I guess Betty’s gonna have a lot of time to catch up on some reading this Christmas.
Definitely NTA. The kid is going to be a week old. What the hell does Betty want from her. Red and green Christmas poop? Stay home and get as much rest/sleep as you can. Betty’s old enough to deal with the consequences of her stubbornness (but I also call bullshit that she’ll follow through with it).