i’m 16f and i live with my mum and my two older sisters. my younger brother lives with my dad and i don’t live with my father. one of my sisters is 19 and she’s been addicted to drugs for around 7 months now.
she’s always struggled with her mental health and has been in hospital for it multiple times. we’ve always been really close so when she first started taking drugs i was the only one who knew. it started with ketamine and she told me it wasn’t addictive and that she was just doing it for fun and that she’d be fine. she also asked me not to tell my mum. i know now that i was stupid for believing her but at the time i really wanted to trust her because she had never lied to me before.
around that time she also gave me something to “try” once. i don’t even know what it was, i just remember taking it. nothing bad happened but i think about it a lot now and it really scares me in hindsight.
about two months later she overdosed on a bunch of different drugs and had to go to hospital. that’s when everyone found out she’d actually been taking loads of things non stop during those two months. my mum and my other sister were really angry with her and honestly not very understanding. i get why they were upset but i felt really bad for her and tried my best to be supportive because i didn’t want her to feel like she had no one.
after she got out of hospital she moved in with my dad for about a month, so i didn’t see her much. when she came back she told us she was sober, but it turned out she’d still been taking stuff. since then it’s just been the same cycle over and over. i’ve tried so hard to be understanding because i can’t imagine how awful she must feel and my mum and other sister haven’t been nice to her at all, so i didn’t want to be another person against her.
the problem is she’s been lying to me constantly for months and i don’t trust anything she says anymore.
about a week ago she came home from “work” and i could tell she was high. i’ve gotten really good at noticing when she’s on something because of everything that’s happened. i told my mum because i was scared and everyone yelled at me and said i was just accusing her of things and that she didn’t even look high.
my sister got really angry at me and told me she hates me and that i ruined her life by not telling anyone when she first started taking drugs. a few days later she admitted that she actually *was* high that night, but now she won’t talk to me at all and is ignoring me like i don’t exist.
i never wanted to upset her or get her in trouble. i just want her to be okay and no matter what i do it feels like it makes things worse. i miss who she used to be and we were so close before all of this.
aita?
**NTA.** None of this should be on a 16 year old.
NTA
Never enable drug addicts.
You didn’t cause her addiction and you can’t fix it. The anger she’s directing at you is misplaced, but that’s common with addiction. It does NOT make you the bad guy.
NTA
But you best remove yourself from anything related to your sister. She may just need to go through the motions and hit bottom, before she is ready to climb back up. You will know when that happens. Once it does, is when you can help her. Forcing the issue before then is not going to do any good.
i’ve done tons of research and i know logically that i can’t fix or save her,i just still hope sometimes that i can. but thank you so much 🙂
NTA. You are a 16yo being blamed for an adult’s choices. Your sister manipulated your loyalty to keep her secrets, and now she is using you as a scapegoat to avoid her own guilt.
You didn’t cause her addiction, you can’t control it, and you are not responsible for “saving” her. It is okay to stop carrying the weight of her lies. You’ve done your best to be a good sister, but you need to prioritize your own peace and safety now.
You’ll someday need to mourn this relationship until your sister is clean from drugs. Let the relationship go. We can’t be close with drug addicts. You will lose at every turn unfortunately. NTA. One day when she’s clean she will come back around and you can pick up from there. For now, cut ties.
NTA but I say the following for your own wellbeing, don’t argue with her. An addiction blinds people to common sense. All you’ll do is waste your breath and exhaust yourself. Protect your own sanity above all
thank you! i’m starting to realise there’s no point in arguing and that all it does is drain me. i’m trying to accept it as it is and look after myself more 🙂
You can’t treat addiction your not trained in it addiction is a very powerful disease seek help from Narcotics Anonymous or a local hospital I knew I had a severe addiction problem but did not know how to stop it wasn’t until I was in a serious accident that put me a hospital that I got the help I needed but you have to remember this is a serious disease make the call to NA
She’s mad because you’re right, but you can’t change her behavior
If you can, just walk away and don’t engage with her when she’s high
Tell the adults
You’ve not forcing anything, you are making sure everyone is aware and protecting yourself, but you are not her jailer or probation officer or parent and it’s above your pay grade
If she is forcing engaged, tell her you’re worried about her and she’s frightening you. Repeat as often as necessary
If you need to do something, watch the new Matlock tv show. Don’t try to get her to watch it
Good luck, I’m rooting for you 🤞
NTA
thank you, this actually lines up with what i’m starting to learn works!
she had a paranoia episode a few weeks ago and said the neighbours were watching her when it was just me and her home and i just kept repeating that she was scaring me it helped more than arguing ever has.
and thank you haha i’ve got the new taylor swift docuseries to focus on instead 🤍
NTA. You’re not the bad guy for trying to keep her safe. Addiction makes people act crazy, but warning your mom was the right move. you can’t babysit someone else’s choices forever. It sucks, but her anger isn’t on you.
Listen, get into Al Anon, and stop focusing your energy on your sister. It’s not your issue and you are not the asshole