My friend is getting married next year… On Halloween. His wedding is child free which is fine. I am not part of the wedding party but he has asked I give a speech along with our other two friends. We also work together everyday.
My child is going to be four next year. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays and I feel like this will be the first year my toddler truly understand the concept of trick or treating.
I am already dreading potentially having to miss this. You only get so many firsts in your child’s life. She is and will be my husband’s and my only child. I realize a wedding only happens once but in my mind, every holiday is a first with a child so young.
Would I be the asshole for skipping the reception and thus not being included in the speech to take my daughter trick or treating?
NTA. Give your child some wonderful memories.
NTA. My four year old wouldve been absolutely crushed if I missed taking him trick or treating this year. Your friend should know the risk of a Halloween wedding.
Absolutely NTA! Anyone who plans a wedding on Halloween should be expecting anyone with young kids not to show up. This is almost as thoughtless as planning a wedding on Christmas.
NTA you’re a parent and your kid comes first before a friend’s wedding. Also, while it’s anyone’s right to have a childfree wedding they have to understand that they’re making it difficult for anyone with a kid to attend.
NTA. If you plan a wedding to conflict with a holiday you have to accept that people might prioritize the holiday. Have fun trick or treating with your kiddo
NTA. Your child comes first.
NTA
Getting married on a major holiday like Halloween, Christmas or Thanksgiving Day is a choice (perhaps this day is significant to the happy couple) but you need to expect that the vast majority of your guests, except for immediate family, are probably going to choose not to attend.
I would tell coworker that you are so sorry, but you won’t be able to make the reception due to parenting responsibilities.
NAH. The problem with having a wedding on Halloween is that people with kids have a conflict, and your friend probably knows that. Tell them now that you can’t miss taking your kid ToT-ing, so you’ll have to skip the reception. Putting your child first isn’t wrong.
NTA
If they’re going to have the wedding on Halloween, they’d better understand that people with children are not likely to be attending anything after 5pm.
Anyone throwing a fit about this or being unhappy about your choice to prioritize your child can go kick rocks.
NAH, but I’d give him a heads-up early and be honest about why. Most reasonable people understand that parents have different priorities, especially for stuff like Halloween.
NTA. It’s kind of silly of your friend to expect people with kids to show up on that day.
Local? Ceremony, trick-or-treating, then show up late to reception? Is that do-able? Oh, and NTA. Kid comes first.
NAH
They have to expect more negative RSVPs when they pick a holiday as their wedding date.
You can still contribute to the speech without being there to deliver it.
When a couple has their childfree wedding on Halloween, it maximizes the number of declines they will receive. They need to accept that with grace.
You’re right. There are only so many firsts, and trick or treating with your kid will be over before you know it.
I honestly would not attend. Your friend made his choice when he picked that date, and childfree.