We had a baby 5 months ago and asked my husband’s parents to come visit for 3 months to help us out with the 5 month old and 4 year old. It has been going well and they have been very helpful. They are living with us during their visit. However, my MIL is diabetic and needs to take several types of prescription pills to manage it. She keeps them in a plastic tub with a lid on their dresser – the meds are not in child safe bottles but rather pop-out packets (she is from another country and brought meds from there). Their room is right next to our 4 year old’s room. The height is such that our 4 year old could probably pull down the tub, and could definitely do it with her bathroom stool. 4 year old has never shown any interest in the tub. As a rule, I keep all prescription meds/meds of any kind way up high in our house (in a tub on top of our fridge).
I asked my husband a few months ago to please have MIL keep the meds up higher in the closet in their room, because I was concerned the 4 year old could access them. He told me it’s not a big deal and to let it go. I agreed, but felt uncomfortable about it.. We have now asked her to stay another 3 months, and are in the process of helping her secure more meds for her stay. Today I asked him again to please ask her again to put the meds up, and told him its really important to me and I’m concerned about it. He launched into a tirade about how this insignificant, and not at all a concern, there is no risk, I am being a problem bringing it up, he is very busy, I’m always bothering him with things, maybe his parents should just go back and we shouldn’t have them stay here. For context, I did also ask him this week to please ask his parents to lock our porch door when they come in. They were leaving it unlocked and its the back door to our house – I was often finding it unlocked at night. But I don’t routinely ask him to do things like this.
I told him that his reaction wasn’t OK and we need to have constructive ways of addressing things that matter to us in the home/issues that come up as MIL/FIL stay with us. He eventually apologized for his reaction, and said he’d ask his parents to put the meds up, although continued to blame me for always "getting my way." He expects me to be OK now. I’m still really upset… AITA?
EDIT: MIL does not speak English. I do not speak her language.
Update: I told my husband that the meds need to be moved up tonight, while we wait for a lockbox I just bought online to arrive by Sunday. I told him I will also speak to MIL (maybe with translator app) myself about it tomorrow. He is mad at me, but sticking to it.
Could they deal with a small lock box?
Its a good idea. I’m open to anything
They make locking medicine bags as well. This is something that she could use that could also be nice for her during her travels, so her medicine is secured in her carry on. Since it’ll have multiple uses, maybe it will encourage her to use it
NTA, but your husband is. It also sounds like he hasn’t talked to them about any of this, and they’re staying in your house and helping with your children, so why don’t you talk to them?
Nta: meds need to be not accessible by young children.
Now
Get stats from poison control if that would help.
NTA. Get in marriage counseling. Your husband is rude and disrespectful to you. It is basic common sense to keep medications and household cleaners out of the reach of children! Children die when then get into these things. Why does he not think that is s priority? It is concerning that he disregards his children’s safety
I would use google translate or other similar tool and talk to MIL yourself. Explain your concerns and why it’s important to lock the back door and put up medication. Use this same took to ask about her day and ask her regular questions like what she wants for dinner.
Thank you. I do speak the very basics of her language but not enough to clearly communicate smth like this, so rely on husband for that. But i could use Google translate.
Wow, what’s your husband going to say when your kid kills themself over the left out meds? That you were “getting your way”…. ?
Dude, be more serious about this. Kick out the parents, the husband or move out yourself. He’s going to kill his own kids, and knowing the type, not able to own up to his own bs.
You deserve better than this. Your kids deserve better than this FROM THEIR OWN FATHER.
I simply can’t. I don’t have children because I know I’m selfish, but other people…..
Hundreds of children die each year due to accidental medication ingestion.
This. I was going to say just Google “child dies pill ingestion” and unfortunately it happens all the time. There’s a reason some products come with a child safety lock and even then it’s no guarantee a kid won’t find a way.
Idk what would happen to a child if it got ahold of glyburide and metformin among other things. As a diabetic myself and suffering neuropathy, I have even more deadly stuff in my daily pill bottle.
If she’s using something to manage pain who knows. But what I do know is those drugs and a child is a recipe for disaster.
I don’t get what her husband’s problem is to be honest. God forbid she wants her children to be safe in her own home. I highly doubt the parents would complain if he asked, he’s just choosing to not address it, at least until now.
None of these safety things are negotiable. At all. Needs to be fixed without delay.
If the kids get into meds and you take them to the hospital then even if it’s fine: now you have child services visiting, telling you to change and that’s if you are lucky.
NTA except maybe for not putting your foot down on everyone else respecting basic child safety.
About the “except maybe for not putting your foot down on everyone else respecting basic child safety” part, it seems she can’t tho. She doesn’t speak MIL’s and FIL’s language and constantly needs her husband for communication (maybe using a translator and through message would work tho). Of course, she needs to at least make her husband respect it and her. As it seems he already understood that he is wrong about the kids safety but he is definitely not respecting her. The thing is that he doesn’t seem to be a responsible and good husband at all.
NTA. I’d be pissed if my husband responded this way.
Your kid has taken an interest in the pills that are easily within reach and in a container easily opened. That along with the “that’ll never happen to us” mentality your husband has is REALLY dangerous. You have no idea what exactly is in there and there could be other pills not strictly related to MILs diabetes. You are not wrong in any way to want them moved. It only takes ONE TIME for something horrible and irreversible to happen and your husband is careless and stupid not to see the risk and a complete AH for how he reacted and responded to you. He needs a reality check.