I stayed with my sister for a couple of weeks and recently left to go back home. While unpacking, I realized I forgot a very important work-related card at her apartment. I need to return this card in order to get paid about $3,000, which I really need. My job will not release the payment until the card is returned.
As soon as I realized, I reached out to my sister and explained the situation. I told her exactly where the card is in her apartment and asked if she could put it in her wallet so that when I see her in about a week, she could just hand it to me and I could mail it back. She lives about 30 minutes from the place where the card ultimately needs to be returned, but I didn’t want to burden her by asking her to go out of her way to drop it off in person. I thought asking her to simply bring it when we next see each other was the least intrusive option.
Because this payment is really important to me and I’m worried about the card being forgotten, I’ve followed up a few times over the past couple of days asking if she’s been able to grab it yet and put it in her wallet. From my perspective, it would take about 10 seconds to go get the card, and once it’s in her wallet, I wouldn’t feel the need to keep reminding her.
However, my sister has become increasingly frustrated with me. She says that I’m being repetitive, demanding, and that I need to trust her that she won’t forget it. She’s currently a graduate student and also working, and she says I’m being inconsiderate of how busy she is. She also says that I’m at fault for forgetting the card in the first place and that I shouldn’t be micromanaging her now.
From my side, I understand that forgetting the card was my mistake, and I’ve acknowledged that. But I’m struggling to understand why she can’t just grab it and put it somewhere safe so I can stop following up, especially since I don’t know when I’ll be back at her place if it gets forgotten again.
So, AITA for continuing to remind her because the situation is time-sensitive and financially important to me, or should I just back off and trust that she’ll remember?
Edit:I live a 9 hour flight from here I do short travel stints for work.
Dude, just visit her and get your card back if it’s so important to you.
YTA
I live across the country (9 hour flight) and our parents live six hours from her place and we will be at our parents for the holidays. Trust me if I had the time or money I would.
YTA. It’s your fault you left your card there. You could always drive to Ur sister’s place to get the card back if you’re scared she won’t send it.
I live a 9 hour flight from her
You’ve put yourself in a tough spot, haven’t you? While being persistent is understandable given the stakes, there’s a fine line between reminding and nagging. Back off a bit and trust her to follow through. If it goes wrong, that’s on you for not taking charge earlier.
Maybe drop the “reminder spam” and just send one clear message like, “Hey, can you grab the card and tuck it in your wallet for me? I really need it next week.”
I did try that because she flys out tomorrow and she told me she doesn’t operate on my time and she will do it when she is ready 🙂
YTA. it was your fault forgetting the card.
With her being a graduate student and working her plate is full, or precisely her head. Getting constant reminders doesn’t help. And yeah for you it’s 10 seconds, but you don’t know what she is doing at those moments, is she at home, learning, working? Ask once and maybe a second time before you see her.
**And if she forgets it in the end, shit happens, you forgot it too.** She’s not responsible for making up for your mistake.
If I were her, I would probably stop answering at all.
She was at home packing for her flight TOMORROW the last I asked. Still didnt want to confirm lol
Have her mail the card using priority mail, FedEx or UPS. Do not use 1st class mail.
And OP should be paying for any costs associated.
Next day delivery.
YTA.
What did you think badgering her like that would do? A follow text the night before she was leaving would have sufficed. You need to learn to control your anxiety & not depend on others to reassure you.
Additionally, if it’s that important, ask her to mail it to you. Stop tiptoeing around being afraid to ask things. Ask the question, your sister can always say no.
NTA. I can’t see why the sister doesn’t just do you this tiny favour. It sounds like power play to me. Also, all the people here going ”it is your own fault” – as if you don’t know that. So what? People make mistakes. What about this ”family helps family” trope I keep reading about here?