About 1 year ago, I met a girl on a single party (We both tried to meet guys there) and we become close friend.
In the beginning I really like her, so I always say yes to her requests. Few months later, I met my current bf, so she began to request things from me and my bf (as she is still single now).
I began to feel exhausted from her high demanding requests, and I started to say no, but she starts blaming me to be a bad friend. I struggle because I really see her as one of my best friend, so I felt a bit guilty to say no to her.
Some request I said no:
\- She saw my bf made Fruit Platter for me, she requested my bf made one for her too. However, I knew she hate fruits, and my bf actually did not want to serve her, so I said no.
\- She requests me & my bf to go shopping with her, so my bf can carry bags for her, and pays her meal. (I agree once, but later I felt like my bf has been used, so next time I said no)
\-We chatted daily via whatsapp since the early friendship, but later I began to feel exhausted, as she always brings up complaint (her colleagues are stupid, her exes did wrong, her parents didn’t treat her well..etc). When I hang out with bf, I want to enjoy our moment and not using the phone frequently. But she will send tons of messages to me if I ignore her for an hour, blaming me or victimize herself. I did not say ‘No’ to her on this, but sometimes I just ignore her shouting…
\- She asked me to go to single party with her. I said No because I wasn’t single, I don’t want to go, and my bf won’t want me to go. She requested me lying to my bf. I said no, and she kept shouting and crying for days about this, forcing me to apologize, said I have hurt her feeling and not valuing her. But after all, I did not apologize.
\- She asked me to hang out with her frequently, but I did not want to (I did not hang out with friends so frequently. I enjoy being alone, or stay with my bf.) Every time I said no, I felt a bit guilty. She will also say things like ‘Ok, you have your bf, and I have no one. So you leave your best friend alone?’
\- She always want to include my bf on our conversation, she will tell me to ask my bf opinion for many things, but my bf was very annoyed by this (he wasn’t interested in her & found her questions very stupid), so I didn’t not actually asked him.
My bf told me she was too demanding, he said she’s asking too much, I am only her friend, not her bf. Most of her requests I have no obligation to fufil (such as always helping her, giving her attention, be responsible to her feeling & emotion)… He told me I should start saying no, because he saw me being unhappy and struggles in this friendship.
So I really started to say no, responding her less, hanging out less, She might feel that I had been colder. So she kept blaming me, saying she’s the only one who cherish our friendship. She said best friends won’t reject each other like what I did.
AITA for me to say no to her? Did I ‘abandon’ her??
It’s weird most of her demands involve someone else’s bf. She’s trying to get between you two, because she’s obviously jealous. This is not a friend. This is someone who’s jealous and masking her feeble attempts to use you, with guilt and shame. I would end this friendship and block her. Focus on people who respect your boundaries and are emotionally stable.