This story happened around 2 years ago, when I was still with my then-girlfriend-of-3-years at that time. I got reminded of it this evening today and was wondering, Was ITA? I can see both perspectives, so maybe you guys can help me out.
I, M24, was attending my gfs, 21, graduation party. She graduated in acting and it was such a nice evening and I was really proud of her. She even wore a dress and accessoires we both carefully picked out together weeks beforehand. I knew this was her big night and she looked stunning!
Anyways, it was a small class of 10 actors and all the relatives and friends were seated in a small theatre while each student got his/her own best-of shown on a big screen on stage. After every movie, the graduate was called on stage to give a short speech and receive their certificate. One after another they came on stage and held their mostly improvised acceptance speeches. While this was happening I kept glancing to my gf, who I knew was very nervous by now – she herself did not prepare any speech but she kept telling me beforehand she could wing it easily. I tried to ease my mind and focused on the speeches. Every graduate was babbling for a minute and then thanking their bfs/gfs for supporting them. It was really sweet and romantic. I was so happy for all of them, as I met them in the very beginning of their studies, since I was a film major and we all did various projects together.
When it was my gfs turn to come on stage and hold her acceptance speech, I was tearing up for real. However, after thanking her colleagues, she simply said: "Oh, and also thanks to my family and bf." and ended the speech. At that moment I really felt down. After all those girls praising their bfs and thanking them from their heart for always supporting them, I was eager to hear the same now, too! But there was only that. At that moment my heart sank a lot. I felt like that was her time to be proud of me and I barely crossed her mind.
On this 3-year journey on becoming an actress there were a lot of auditions, a lot of practicing, reciting monologues. I often took time to drive to different cities for auditions w/ her, studying her lines with her, even spend entire weekends to refine her monologues by practicing and reviewing them. I was proud of doing that, being a good boyfriend. But this speech somehow showed me the lack of gratefulness.
Everybody was celebrating and at the buffet, I was quiet and didnt talk much, tried my best to smile because I didnt wanna make this about me. She noticed though and asked me, and I told her that her speech made me sad, all the other girls were praising and she didnt even say anything about me, after all this support. All she, annoyed, said to that was "babe please, not now". I understood and we talked later. She explained the speech was improvised and did not portray reality. I felt bad for mentioning it then, but it somehow reflected the whole relationship. We split one year later after 4 years.
>I didnt wanna make this about me
Proceeded to make it all about you anyway.
And is still doing so 2 years later mentally. Complete YTA.
They broke up. This is my surprised face.
YTA. You are not the main character in her life. Besides, you broke up; why is this even a thought in your head?
YTA – it was her day and you made it you. She’s the one that put in the work to graduate. What exactly did you do to deserve being thanked in a speech for a whole minute?
YTA. Way to make her achievement all about you. She did thank you. You knew before hand that she didn’t write anything and she still acknowledged you. So what if it wasn’t some flowery thing, she didn’t do that for her own parents either. Why would you be above her own parents? Grow up and move on.
YTA. What was she supposed to thank you for? For being supportive and caring like a normal bf does? Many acceptance speeches don’t include long thank yous to partners and families because being supportive is kind of required.
You were 24 and still such a child? Good job she’s ex at least she had a chance to find a man 😂
“ i felt like it was her time to be proud of me”
nooooo, at someone’s own graduation it’s only the time for them to be proud of themselves. how did you type this out without realizing how you sounded? jesus yta
YTA. You are made her moment about you. She didn’t even forget you. You are just upset she didn’t sing your praises the way you wanted.
My wife didn’t thank me in her MRes thesis either, even though I supported her every step of the way, read umpteen drafts, spotted a hair-raising howler mere hours before the submission deadline, you name it.
And do I care? Not one iota. It was a magnificent achievement on her part and it was an honour getting a front-row seat at its gestation. She knows what I did, literally nobody else would notice or care, so why does it matter?
(We have not split up.)
YTA
YTA. You turned her big achievement moment into you wanting to be praised in front of everyone instead of just supporting her.
YTA
This night was about HER and you, for whatever reason, think you deserve more than being thanked….. She mentioned you… Be happy for her. What more do you want?? For her to stand up there and give a 2 minute speech about how great you are??
‘I felt like this was the time for me to make her achievement about me and when it wasn’t I sulked so that at least I sucked any fun from her celebrations’
Fixed it for you.