I (28F) used to work in a small store with one of my best friends (28F) for a couple of years. She recommended me for the job as they desperately needed another worker. I was happy because it was a good job, and it meant I could work with my friend and we get along very well.
The problem is the pay was very low, and with time it only got worse because everything is getting more and more expensive. I also noticed the owners started to appreciate us less and didn’t value any input both of us tried to give.
We work in two shifts and we alternate mornings and afternoons. The one that works in the morning that day has to come an hour earlier to clean up. Because I started feeling more and more upset with the owners, this last month I would sometimes come later than I was supposed to, mostly because I didn’t really like going to work anymore, and I didn’t feel the need to work as hard as I always had up to this point. I always came before I had to open the shop and I did clean up, just not as diligently as it was expected.
Of course, the owners figured it out with time, and they fired me. I understand them. I should’ve quit before but my plan was to work for a a little longer until my friend went on a trip she had planned for months, as I was supposed to be covering her shifts for a couple of days (which wouldn’t be the first time and I never minded doing it).
Now she‘s very mad because she freaked out they would make her cancel her trip because they cannot find a new worker easily (before I got hired, they were looking for years because they’re very particular). They didn’t make her cancel the trip, and I’m very relieved about that, but going forwards she will have to work longer shifts. I’m very sad that it turned out this way, as I wanted to tell her sooner but just didn’t have the guts to.
I sincerely apologized to her multiple times, but she won’t respond back to me. Is this really a reason enough to throw away a 15+ year long friendship?
YTAH…surely they were upfront about the pay beforehand. You got your friend’s hopes up for some relief (and working with HER friend) and it ended up having her not only have to work more, but question her trust in you.
Of course YTA for lying to her about this. I’d also say YTA for purposefully doing your job poorly, but that isn’t an interpersonal issue so it isn’t applicable to the sub.
Sounds like your poor behavior and judgment has had an impact on a personal relationship, and it makes sense why it did.
YTA as an employee, and a friend. Have some integrity and be honest and quit and don’t blame your employer for you crappy work behavior.
YTA. Your friend recommended you and you kind of made her recommendation look bad and also potentially screwed her planned vacation while doing it. Look, you know, for some time, that you no longer wanted to do the job. However, instead of quitting then you just worked poorly enough for them to eventually fire you.
What you should have done is either quit when you realized you didn’t want to work or sucked it up and just worked, at least to minimum acceptable standards, until you found something else and then quit. Had you done the first they would have had time to get someone new before your friend’s vacation and she would not have looked bad (if no new person, then that’s the owner’s fault). Instead you just gave up on the job and threw your friend under the bus with the owners. First for recommending you in the first place and second for working so poorly you were fired right before her vacation so there was no coverage causing her to be stressed out over it thinking vacation was going to be cancelled.
Yeah, I bet she is mad at you.
First of all:
Yes, you are the AH here.
That’s been established already by your account of things you did and why you did them, and for not telling your friend how you felt/what your plans were. She deserved to know.
But also, The owners are also assholes that put you both in this situation for being “too particular” as to not hire someone for years when they should have done so and had trained them.
The unfortunate thing is, owners and bosses are always going to be some kind of asshole to protect their investment, but you made deliberate choices that immediately affected your friendship, and her job/job security.
That’s not just an AITAH moment, that’s a huge “this isn’t even a question, I am totally the asshole” moment
You need to own your mistakes. Your friend’s trust was shattered because of your actions, and that’s not a light matter. Friendships are built on honesty; you let her down when she needed support. Apologizing repeatedly is a start, but actions speak louder than words. Give her space and time to process this. Reflect on what you’ve learned here so it doesn’t happen again in future relationships or jobs.
YTA hopefully nobody else will recommend you for a job.
INFO: when you say you were coming in “an hour earlier to clean up”, do you mean an hour earlier than previously, or do you mean an hour before your shift started? Were you being paid for that hour?
And this is the kind of behaviour that prevents me from recommending anyone to my place of employment. You made her judgement of you look bad and now shes got work consequences. YTA. Pretty bold to assume screwing over a friend wouldn’t result in consequences to the friendship.
YTA – I can understand not liking a job. I can understand not liking low pay. I can definitely understand not liking management. But you signed up for a job, so either do it properly or quit. This trend of “quiet quitting” is crap.
To make matters worse, your friend recommended you for this job. Which means she vouched for you. Now the owners have no reason to trust her judgment anymore.
Beyond that, you are not the AH for quitting. No one can force someone to work at a job they don’t like. Even if your friend got it for you, if the environment changed while you worked there, you have the right to leave. You just should have done it before getting fired.
YTA. You should have quit. I understand the work and owners weren’t great anymore, but you made your friend look bad since she’s the one who recommended you. You’re extremely lucky she didn’t have to cancel her vacation because of your lackluster attitude.
Yep. YTA. You didn’t like the job and instead of finding something else and leaving you came in late and did a crumby job. YTA, no question.
YTA
You put a lot of strain on your friendship with your flakiness. She vouched for you and you put her reputation at risk. It’s understandable if she doesn’t really trust you in the same way she did before.
ESH. The owners for taking advantage of their workers, your friend for recommending this mess and you for waiting to be fired instead of quitting.