My (19m) room mate (19m) is Filipino and sometimes cooks Filipino food. A lot of the time when he cooks I’ll light a candle and/or open the side door because I dont like the smell, I like the way a lot if it tastes especially this soup they made a few times, like bico express or something? Tastes like actual crack I love it, but I don’t ever say anything either I just don’t like the smell and do those things to get rid of it and to make sure it doesn’t linger, never really had a problem with my room mate and he’s always understood.
Recently his gf was over (also filipino) and he was cooking something, and my gf (20f)was over too and we both smelt it from my room so I went out and I lit a candle and she said she didn’t like the smell of the candle as it was too strong for her, and something about allergies, so I put it out and opened the back door. She asked why I was opening it and I said to let it air out a little. I could tell she was upset at that and said why does it need to air out? I said oh ykk to get the cooking smell out, so it smells nice in here.
She got upset at this and yelled and said "oh so your saying theres something wrong with our food?" My room mate tried speaking and she cut him off and said no lets hear him. I dont think she knew my gf was over and my gf heard her yelling at me and came out and told her to knock it off and they went back and forth a little and now our gfs are mad at eachother and I texted my room mate and he said we were cool but I made his gf really upset by implying the food was smelly, and now Im reconsidering how that might be seen as potentially offensive and I feel really bad and i think I may have been offensive and in the wrong
NTA. Sometimes food just smells too strong. I hate the smell of someone cooking chicken or beef, and I tend to turn on the fans and light a candle to mask it. There’s no problem with that at all in my opinion and I think your roommate’s girlfriend might be reaching for an issue.
Nta, she took offense to something that wasn’t offensive because she wanted to be the victim
NTA she can say your candle is smelly but you can’t open a door to let other smells out of the house? Sounds like some hypocritical bs to me
NTA she’s just looking for a fight.
NTA. It doesn’t matter what type of food anyone is cooking. Airing the house out while cooking is a normal thing to do. I always open a window because I hate the smell of lingering cooking, and I’m just a basic white girl making chicken pasta lmao
NTA. I air out my house when I cook because I just don’t want food smells lingering. I have the nose of a bloodhound though so smells, especially food ones can bother me.
NTA. If you were super abrasive about it and insulted their food all the time, that would be one thing. But you’re allowed to open a door or window to get air circulation in your own apartment. Next time stop before you say “so it smells nice,” because that implies her food doesn’t smell nice. Which, maybe it doesn’t, but you can leave that part out. It’s just added explanation for something you don’t have to explain. If she asks why again, a simple “for airflow” will suffice. But still, there was no reason for her to pick a fight with you. You’re fine.
NTA.
Some foods create really strong odors in the kitchen.
There’s a traditional dish that my family makes every Easter that makes the entire house smell like a White Castle.
(For anyone that doesn’t know – White Castle is a burger chain that serves sliders steamed on a bed of onions. You can smell the onion a block away.)
I love the dish. I don’t love the White Castle smell.
I love Five Guys fries. I don’t love how my car smells like peanut oil for a week after I bring Five Guys home.
Sounds like roommate’s GF is used to playing the victim.
NTA and I’d like to add that there are some places where it’s normal to have a secondary spice kitchen for cooking to manage strong cooking smells. So it’s normal to not want your house to carry food odors.
NTA because frankly some food stinks. I know I don’t hang my laundry in the house when I’m making something that has a lot of alliums or includes fish or spicy peppers.
But she was probably on a hair-trigger because “your food reeks” is a common derogatory sentiment thrown around by racists. I’m in the UK and don’t know any Filipinos so I don’t know if that’s a common racist thing over there but racists seem to love pretending every non-white cultural foodstuff stinks in a bad way so that’s my guess.
From a cursory google Filipino food often uses lots of garlic and fermented ingredients so it probably does smell a little. I guess apologise to her for the misunderstanding and explain that the smell sometimes sticks to your clothes if you absolutely need an excuse. If you want to be funny make them both a meal as part of the apology using the smelliest recipe you know and watch her struggle not to comment on it. You would be TA for that but sometimes comedy comes first.
NTA but i feel like you could have just said “it smells good but the whole house will smell like food” or something.
I mean you said “so it smells nice” and that implies the opposite
Look all food smells should be aired out while cooking. Do you have a fan/vent that goes outdoors? If so, that should just be on when cooking over the stove.
She’s looking for victimhood points.
NTA
My wife hates when I cook bacon because of the smell, so I cook it on the back porch. That doesn’t make her an asshole. NTA.