So, earlier in the day, my mom told me to call her to wake her up so she doesn’t oversleep for her overnight job. She had been drinking. She needed to be awake by 11:45pm. I was at work when we had this conversation. I called twice at 11:30, no answer. After a while, I (28F) checked her ring camera to see if she was still there, she was. So I called again at 11:50. She didn’t answer.
I forgot my phone goes into bedtime/dnd at 10:00 pm, I honestly didn’t think anything of it because I was working & my mind wasn’t on that. I got off at 12:05 am. My coworker gave me a ride, we’re talking the whole way. I get home at 12:35, I see 7 missed calls from my mom and 8 missed calls/2 voicemails from my dad.
Apparently my mom called my dad because I didn’t answer her calls. Which led to him calling me several times. So, I called my mom she’s yelling asking why would I call her if I wasn’t going to pick up if she called back. I explained the calls were to wake her up and my phone goes into bedtime mode after a certain time. It wasn’t intentional. She hangs up on me lol.
I call my dad after, he tells me I need to take my phone off dnd/bedtime mode because it could be an emergency. I explained that it’s only set for certain time, that I forgot it was on and that I felt they were overreacting a bit. He told me that it’s not overreacting when you care about someone and want to make sure they’re safe. And since I’m a mom, I shouldn’t have my phone set to that. Also, what if someone dies. I explained I understood the concerns, but I’m fine and that it was a misunderstanding. He said he’d talk to me another time when I can think with some sense.
AITA in this situation?
NTA
Why can’t your mom use a regular alarm like normal people?
Btw you can allow calls from certain contacts or repeat calls even in DND. Your dad is overreacting but I’m willing to let him off the hook a bit because I understand one can get worried in a situation like that. The root of the problem i still your mom though.
I wouldn’t allow these people through the DND, 15 calls instead of a text is exactly why they’re not on the allow list.
NTA. Setting your phone to DND for sleep is almost standard these days, because not everyone is on the same schedule or reasonable about calling when you might be sleeping.
If your phone allows it, a helpful setting for DND is to have it so that if someone immediately calls again, the call goes through. That’s how my husband has his phone set for my number when he’s at work. That way, if I accidentally call when he’s teaching, DND catches it and I don’t interrupt, but if it’s an emergency I can just call right back a second time and get him. Of course, that depends on having people be trustworthy to decide whether something is an emergency, and neither of your parents sound reasonable in that manner.
NTA
Don’t call your mom to wake her up again if she asks. She can use an alarm like the rest of us.
What a load of unnecessary drama!
You’re a full grown adult and a parent. You do not need to be patented by your parents anymore and frankly, your mom is immature and ridiculous. You don’t go drinking on days you work and you don’t ask another adult to be your alarm clock, you set your own damn alarm. NTA
If someone dies at Night they will still be Dead in the Morning once im awake , thats what i say
Yep. And if there’s an emergency, call 911, not me.
>Also, what if someone dies.
They will still be dead in the morning.
What am I? A necromancer?
I’m not hearing a denial and I’m still working out if this is so not disturb or dungeons and dragons.
“Look. I’d need to be there within a minute after they died in order to successfully cast Revivify, so I probably wouldn’t be able to do that anyway.
And Raise Dead has a limit of 10 days since death, so I imagine calling back the next morning should be fine.”
I am an expat and I have my phone on DND all night with no exceptions. I get asked “what happens if someone dies?”
Like me flying home isn’t going to reverse their death.
But also, the police come round and wake you up…
My ex-partner (then dating) ended up in hospital with severe head injuries. The nurses tried to call me a bunch, but I always have my phone on silent once I’m asleep. Cops came round and relentlessly knocked on my door, woke me up to let me know and offered me a lift in.
So your Mom needed to go to an overnight shift and was tipsy, if not outright drunk? And you tried to wake her up as recommended and when she called back because apparently she forgot the recommendation, YOU are at fault and your father is like: “I’ll talk to you when you feel guilty enough so you apologize and placate your alcoholic mother?”
LOL
1st: Your mom has a drinking problem. You are enabling her. Let her adult tooshie do adulting and stop coddling her.
As in: She can set her own alarm clock for starters.
2nd: Your Dad is also enabling her. That IS a problem – but it’s his. Not yours.
You are responsible for your own actions. You have a family on your own. Focus on them and think very carefully what you think would be appropriate.
NTA. Yet. But you need to get over the responsibility for your parents actions.