I 24yrs female live in an apartment building where most people are friendly but not close. A few weeks ago, my downstairs neighbor offered to let me use their reserved parking spot while they were out of town for a month. I don’t have a reserved spot myself, so this sounded generous and I accepted.
About a week into using it, she texted me saying they will need me to keep an eye on their apartment while they were gone. I assumed they meant something simple, like reporting obvious issues. But the requests slowly escalated. First it was taking in packages. Then it was watering plants inside their unit. Then it became checking their mail every day and sending photos to prove it was done.
The breaking point was when they asked me to let one of their friends into the apartment late at night because the friend had forgotten something. I said no I’m not comfortable giving access to someone else’s home or being responsible if anything goes wrong. I offered to stop using the parking spot if that made things easier.
They got upset and said I was being ungrateful and that the parking spot was a big favor I was benefiting. I reminded them that the original offer didn’t come with these conditions and that I would rather just go back to parking normally than feel responsible for their place.
I stopped using the spot the next day. Since then, they’ve been cold toward me and have told a couple of other neighbors that I took advantage of their kindness and bailed when asked to help. A few people now act like I did something wrong.
From my perspective, I didn’t agree to be a caretaker or gatekeeper for their apartment, especially not involving other people. Does that makes me an asshole?
NTA – they tried to con you and are now mad it didn’t work
exactly my thoughts
NTA, but you need to get the story under control before they turn the building against you.
thanks i’m working on that
I’d advise against that. A few people believing what a neigbour tells them about a matter that doesn’t even concern them, isn’t worth giving any attention. If those people want to behave differently towards OP for that, that’s their problem, not OP’s. It will blow over if OP ignores it, and acting like they always do is the best way to “get the story under control”.
NTA
A favor is not a favor if it comes with strings attached. Then it’s a transaction.
that’s it
Perhaps you need to be telling your own story to your neighbours
Oh their parking spot that they weren’t using was a “big favor” huh? Tell these people to fuck off. Lock their key in their apartment and be done with their bullshit.
Nta.
NTA. Be free to discuss the escalating demands with the other neighbors if they are so free to complain. They wanted a free housesitter.
NTA
“Keeping an eye” means watching… Not going in, getting mail, watering plants, and giving a stranger access to their home. If it had just been “keeping an eye out and grabbing the mail”, I’d say “easy enough. I can do that”. But I draw the line at going in and watering plants/letting people in and out. I’m also NOT going to be sending a GD photo each day to “prove I checked the mail”. WTF is next?? We gonna check to see if my toothbrush is wet to make sure I brushed my teeth!?
What’s hilarious about this is that it would take up less of OP’s time and brain space just to park wherever the fuck they were parking before. When the conditions pile up to the point that it outweighs the ‘favour’, it’s not much of a favour anymore, is it?
NTA. Generally speaking, if you want all of that done when you’re not home, either you ask for it as a big favor up front or you pay someone. You don’t give them a small convenience and then start a series of escalating demands. As for the people being chilly, tell them your side of the story – that they originally didn’t ask you for anything, and then they gave you this series of escalating demands, getting up to the sort a person would usually expect to be paid to take responsibility for, and you were uncomfortable being caring for their plants you know nothing about and letting someone who was a complete stranger to you into their house, when you’d never agreed to any kind of responsibility at all. They were trying to turn you into an unpaid house sitter without so much as a ”by your leave”!
NTA the expectation should have been clear from the beginning. Honestly, good for you for sticking to your boundaries. The string that were attached should have been explicitly explained prior to them offering the spot.