Please lovely people of the internet I need your help. Even if it’s just for my sanity.
My In Laws keep ignoring our wishes as parents. I’m talking things like giving my kids (5f & 3m) over 6x the maximum daily amount of sugar. My oldest is sensitive to sugar (mood swings and fatigue, which she finds distressing). Not getting kids to bed on time. MIL keeps inserting herself when I am trying to parent When I politely tell her it’s ok I’ve got this I’m ignored. There is other stuff but I will be here all day.
The last straw was the last time they had the kids for 4 days. I cooked the dinners for my kids but made enough for my In Laws as well. Got snacks for my kids, which ranged from fruit and cheese to some yoghurts and smoothies. In laws declined snacks. Whilst away we were sent a picture of the kids not looking quite right. Think zombies. Usually MIL’s communication is poor but I probed a fair bit. MIL listed all the treats they had in one day and admitted she was aware they were getting to much sugar but they were doing an activity later so thought it was fine. The activities included taking them to their church and swimming. We are not religious btw. The following day zombie photo was taken and they just sat and watched TV and went to the movies. My eldest took 5 days to return to their usual happy self.
We were booked to go away for a day the following week and we felt uncomfortable with leaving them alone with my InLaws. Hubby spoke to our babysitter and she was available. Hubby told MIL and said they would talk in an couple of weeks when they got back from their holiday. All went smoothly and kids were happy an healthy when we returned.
When hubby got to speak to MIL she said they were heartbroken over what we did to them and said that we don’t appreciate them. He brought up the point about giving the kids too much sugar despite us asking them not to. She said they tried really hard and would give other kids they look after more sugar and that they thought she’d grown out of it. They don’t look after any other kids.We offered to do day trips with them and have them over but we weren’t comfortable leaving the kids with them alone for a while. MIL later spoke to my husband over the phone completely bashing us personally and as parents. They have also set up a smear campaign against us with any mutual contacts. Saying we’re excluding them from events. We’re not. Eldest had a school play but only two tickets were set aside per child for parents. They know this.
I’ve been crying most of today as I don’t see what we did was wrong or how we come back from this. I do let my kids have sugar (sweets, chocolate etc) just around the recommended amount. My kids also love fruit and often ask for it. So it’s super easy to keep them happy.
AITAH here?