I know the title may sound ridiculous, but I’m at a complete loss as to how I should be feeling, so let me explain. With Christmas coming up, my sister and I were FaceTiming with some other family and they asked what we were bringing to dinner. We said we were bringing dessert, and I said I was going to bring a potato to bake for me. Important to note here, I don’t like Mac and cheese the way my family makes it, which they all know, but that’s what they are having. At no point did I ask anyone to buy or make anything separate just for me, I simply answered a question they asked. Later, I got a video from a cousin of the majority of my extended family talking crap about me saying I’m disrespectful for brining a separate side for myself (it’s one potato I’m going to throw in the oven, not a whole dish), and why do I have to be so difficult. They were being pretty harsh, and now I just don’t even want to go to dinner and listen to all of them. I’m not sure what I could have done wrong, but apparently most of them think I’m TA, so am I?
Edit to answer the same questions I keep getting.
1. We are having Ham, Mac and cheese, and salad. That’s it other than the cake my sister is bringing and the mini pies I am baking,
2. I offered to make a pot of mashed potatoes when this was first brought up and they said absolutely not, we are having one side dish only, we don’t need any more than that.
3. My sister and I are bringing completely separate desserts, so don’t even try to say we’re cutting corners by bringing only one.
Nta. So we see this all the time with picky eaters and vegans who demand hosts make special food for them or demand menu changes…and we tell them to bring their own food.
Well… you are doing that. You didn’t demand they change their dishes, you didn’t demand they make you a special dish. You just brought something you know you can eat. I am not sure how they can possibly fault you for this.
Unless they are angry about you bringing a singular potato to get out of contributing equally to the meal? Bring more than one potato I guess.
Except I am contributing by bringing multiple flavors of mini pies
I disagree with what others have said. According to your comment, they picked the side despite your dislike for it. When you tried to bring a side of mashed potatoes, they refused to allow it.
I don’t think making a potato will harm anyone. You just want to have a side you like! Based on the additional info from your comment, NTA. They are AHs for making a fuss over such a small issue.
I 100% agree. They were all talking trash about him for an issue that affected no one. His family sounds like insufferable AHs.
nta it’s just a potato, they get to have a side dish they like how come you can’t? plus you’re bringing a dessert to share i don’t really get why they are making a big deal out of this 😭
I feel like NTA, but you have to add the context from your comments. You offered the mashed potatoes as a dish for you to bring. They said no. You and your sister are BOTH bringing separate desserts for everyone to share.
You won’t eat the Mac and cheese and you know it. You’re not asking them to make you separate stuff and a potato in the oven takes like no extra room, especially if they’re already having it on. I don’t know why people are being so weird. They complain when people ask for separate stuff to be made for them, but when they provide it and do all the work, they still think that person is wrong??? That’s wild
You’re right, I know Reddit, the more detail the better. I should have put that in there first.
Wow. It’s a baked potato. You’re already bringing something for everyone, and the other sides don’t agree with you. If there really isn’t room for a foil wrapped potato in the oven (really?), then it can easily be baked ahead of time and warmed in a microwave or whatever. This seems like a huge deal over nothing.
NTA.
CAN EVERYONE JUST READ THE POST CORRECTLY AND MAYBE THE FIRST COMMENT? OP is bringing a dessert to share. He offered a side dish of potatoes and the family said NO. He doesn’t like mac n cheese. He’s bringing a potato for himself because his family wasn’t considerate enough to make an alternative dish, knowing he doesn’t like mac n cheese. He didn’t complain, he just commented that he’s bringing his own side dish. In addition to the dessert he’s sharing.
OP, you’re NTA, but your family is because they didn’t consider your dietary preferences at all on a special family holiday. I would not only bring a potato, but I would definitely call them out while you were sitting at dinner, letting them know they never considered your feelings in the first place, and that you don’t appreciate them talking behind your back.
The only way this is inconsiderate is if OP needs to cook that potato at a certain temp for an hour so and this means that oven space can not be used to prepare the group dishes. As the frequent cook for large family gatherings stuff like this annoys the hell out of me because there is really precise timing and organization around what goes in the oven when to get everything finished at the same time.
5 min in the microwave then just shove in the same oven as everything else for 20 min, easy.
NTA since your weird family insists on a single side dish with a meal. I can’t believe they denied you bringing mashed potatoes for everyone, especially when they know you don’t like the mac and cheese.
NTA Do people really have all this time and energy to get upset about a potato of all things.
Your cousin sounds exhausting and empty-headed.
Don’t engage.
What is this one side rule? That’s strange.