This was in the summer but my friend was going out of the country for 2 weeks, she gave me the keys to her apartment and asked me to water her plants and put any mail she got on the drawer.
Now for starters, we’re not THAT close so I was sort of taken back when she gave me the keys to her apartment and asked me to water her plants. I live infront of her so it wasn’t really a problem for me to go to her apartment and water them.
After I said yeah and got the keys she told me to water them every other day, I should’ve just said I can’t do it when she said that because knowing myself I wouldn’t be able to commit. But I felt like it was too late.
After she left I kept procrastinating and didn’t water her plants for 4 days on the 5th day she texted me about her plants and I told her the truth. Now I didn’t wanna sound like I was giving excuses but my grandma had just moved in that week unexpectedly and my friend was also graduating so things got a little busy (I understand that that’s no excuse). She asked me why I agreed to water her plants if I wasn’t going to water them I told her it’s because I thought there was no one else available to water them for her. After that I’d water her plants daily and collected her mail. She never said thank you once, not when I agreed to water her plants or after I apologized and starting watering them.
She came back and I returned her keys, I offered to bring it to her apartment instead of having her come to my house.
I thought we cleared everything up but for the last 2 months she’s been acting cold and distant I asked her how she was a few weeks ago and she said she’s busy with school. I checked my Instagram today and she removed me from her followers and unfollowed me, she also unfriended me on Snapchat.
Even though we weren’t close I still thought of her as a good friend, I’m not sure if she’s still upset about the whole plant situation or if it’s something else.
Should I text her and ask her why she’s cutting me off?
EDIT: when I said I live infront I meant in another building close to hers, it’s not across the hall.
Edit: thanks for responding, I won’t text her and I’ll treat this as a learning opportunity to do better.
bffr, YTA. she asked something of you and YOU committed. you could have declined or said you would forget, you know yourself best. now youre asking if youre TA for not doing what you agreed to do? youre a major AH. dont commit to something you wont do and then wonder if youre the problem for something you did to yourself.
YTA. Don’t accept a responsibility for living things that you have no plans to fulfill.
And plants aren’t necessarily cheap either.
YTA. Even if you didnt want to, you committed to something and then flaked. You shouldnt have agreed in the first place. Her reaction is a bit extra with unfriending you and such, but youre still in the wrong here.
YTA
Big ol’ YTA. Should have never accepted that responsibility. It’s like asking someone to watch their pet and they don’t water and feed them .
Yeah, sorry but it’s not OK to agree to do something for someone, and then just not do it. Really no excuse for that when someone is relying on you — that is not being a good friend. YTA
YTA if you didn’t want to do it grow a backbone and say no.
YTA OP agreed to water the plants and didn’t. If she didn’t want to or knew probably she wouldn’t follow through, she was obligated to refuse the keys and let the plant owner to make alternative arrangements.
YTA. You didn’t want to water the plants but you said yes. You made a commitment and didn’t follow through. The excuses you’re using to justify not keeping your commitment are lame. You could have done it. It wouldn’t take long at all. You know why she’s cold to you. You’ve lost a friend or at least a friendly neighbor.
YTA
You know why she’s cutting you off.
She obviously thought you were close enough that she could a) ask you this favor and b) trust you with the keys to her apartment to do something she felt was important. Plants can be expensive, and some people think of them like pets.
You accepted.
You didn’t tell her the truth until she actually asked about it 5 DAYS later! Which definitely makes it sound like you wouldnt have started watering them if she hadn’t asked, and you wouldnt have told her you weren’t doing it.
You obviously didn’t value the friendship enough to either follow through on the commitment you freely made, or to be honest enough to tell her you couldn’t do it, so why should she value it any higher? There’s no point to her belaboring the point, since you’re on Reddit asking why she ended the friendship (if it could be “something else”), so it’s not like you’re taking full accountability.
> I should’ve just said I can’t do it when she said that because knowing myself I wouldn’t be able to commit.
Yes. Learn to communicate like a grownup. YTA. Obviously. When you behave poorly, people may cut you off. Don’t text her. Be less unreliable in future.
YTA.. First, if you were not going to do it, you should have said from the start.. You said that you didn’t water them for 5 days, and then started watering them every day?? You did say that she said every other day, right.. So missing multiple waterings could have severely harmed them, but watering them every day when they need every other day could have drowned them.. This makes me question if the plants even survived.. and if they did, how much were they harmed..
If there was a good reason, like it was across town and weather, or something like that, then there would be some justification.. But a few feet across y the hall and 10 minutes out of your day?? Not so much.
YTA: How hard is it to water a few plants that you had to procrastinate for DAYS. You’ve given no valid reason WHY you could not carry thru on a commitment you made.
How do you consider someone a good friend but not close? Then upset she’s distancing from you when after you used those flaky excuses on her? You didn’t want to do the favor but were too… unmotivated? lazy? unbothered? awkward? To tell her no or that you couldn’t be counted on for this? And then upset that after all that, she’s done with you?
You come off as unreliable, inconsiderate, and lazy, and more upset that this not-close-but-good friend has decided to reject the inclusion of that in her life than actual remorse about these failing of your character.
Yes, YTA.