I 25F, I live in a small neighborhood where people generally trust each other, Recently a few neighbors decided it would be a good idea if everyone on the block shared spare house keys with one another just in case like for emergencies.
Someone came to my door and explained the idea to me and asked me directly for a spare key. I said I wasn’t comfortable doing that. I explained that I don’t mind keeping an eye on things or calling someone if there’s an issue, but giving out my spare key felt like crossing a personal boundary for me.
They assured me that everyone else were in support and that it was about trust. I still refused and suggested something like using a lockbox or contacting a locksmith in an emergency.
After that, I started getting comments from the other neighbors like guess we know who doesn’t trust their neighbors and it’s sad how people don’t look out for each other anymore. One neighbor said that by not participating, I was benefiting from the neighborhood’s sense of safety without contributing to it.
I haven’t asked anyone else for a key, and I don’t feel comfortable giving someone else my key. I just don’t want people having access to my home when I’m not there.
I feel like it’s reasonable to have limits, but the reactions i am getting has made me feel like i was wrong.
I’m asking AITA because my decision not to give my neighbors a spare key directly affected them, and some of them reacted negatively, saying I wasn’t being community minded. I understand why they might feel that way, and I’m wondering if I could have handled it differently or if I was justified in setting this boundary, which is why I’m asking for judgment.
Maybe you should give them a key that doesn’t belong to your house. If they complain that’s its the wrong key then you will KNOW they tried to enter your property without it being an emergency 🤷♀️
that’s a good idea
Not convinced giving them a non functioning key is a good idea though, it both pushes the problem down temporarily and opens up a conversation you already closed. The answer was “no thanks” and a smile. Change the subject. No more conversation needed, next topic?
But as OP explained, a simple “no thanks and a smile didn’t work”. they didn’t respect her decision and are now causing tension and saying rude, snarky things to her, so the conversation isn’t over, the neighbours clearly haven’t moved on like they should have.
giving them a key will at least get them to stop with all the snarkey comments and relieve some of the tension. I’d feel very uncomfortable if my neighbours were making those comments to me.
handing them a false key may restore their trust and stop them from making all the snarkey, rude comments.
If they find out the key doesn’t work, then it just proves they can’t be trusted and their whole system breaks down anyway. So, seems like a Good idea to me.