So to preface this my grandpa died unexpectedly in October (2025) from a freak accident, my whole family has been very upset since no one has really started the healing process yet as he was a centerpiece of our family. We are a very close family I’m talking like over at my grandparents every weekend close (aunts, uncles, cousins). But I (20y/oM) am in college so I’m not home very often. This is where my problem arises im going home for Christmas break and my whole family has always gotten together for all the holidays, and on Christmas we do dinner and gift exchange and just hang out at my grandparents house. Well I started dating this girl over the summer (2025) and her family has invited me over for Christmas dinner BUT she lives 2 hours away from me so it’s either one or the other, well I want to go to her house since it’s a new relationship and I want to make a good impression on her whole family as I really like this girl. I know if I tell anyone about it in my family they will be mad at me and not understand my side, so would I be the ahole if I didn’t tell any of them I’m going and just say I have to be back at school since I’m an athlete that has a winter sport at the school and just say I have practice. Help me Reddit idk what to do but I know what I wanna do.
YTA. Bring her to your family’s Christmas celebration this time. Go to hers next time. This is not a good impression to give her family as it shows you make poor decisions. Are you seriously this oblivious?
I wouldn’t subjugate a new significant other with a grieving family get together event. I’d politely decline my GFs and explain the situation. The GFs should understand if they are a normal family.
Yes YTA.
Yes YTA
Go to your grandparents place. You’ve only been dating her a few months – if she’s any good for you she and her family will understand and support you.
And I’m going with a small YTA since I think you’re not thinking clearly.
YTA. Whatever you do, don’t lie. You will be found out and it will be worse for you. Just tell your GF and her family that it’s important to be with your family this year. They will appreciate your honesty.
Go to one place Christmas Eve, and the other on Christmas Day. Don’t lie to anyone because duh.
It’s far more impressive to explain to her parents that your grandfather recently passed and this is going to be a difficult holiday for your family than it is to lie and weasel out of things.
Gently, YTA
This is going to be a rough Christmas for your family and being together will be important. Your relationship with your girlfriend is still very new. It is very kind of her family to invite you, but this is an important time with your family.
Perhaps try to go to her house after the 25th? Let them know about your family’s loss. I’m sure they will understand how important it is to be with your family right now. And if they don’t, that’s a sign they aren’t good people.
YTA – the first Christmas after your grandfather‘s unexpected death and while your close-knit family is still traumatised, you want to lie to your family so you can spend Christmas with a girl you’ve just started dating? Is that an accurate summary?
Impressing your new girlfriend’s parents is more important than being with your family during this time of crisis. Be honest with yourself – you don’t like your family much, you didn’t like your grandpa much despite visiting him on weekends, and you take your family for granted.
Your family will see through your lies and will be hurt.
YWBTA
You’ve been together with that girl for a few months. Only time will tell if she’s the one to spend your life with.
Your family has suffered a big loss only a few weeks ago. You and they are still mourning and need time as a family.
Apparently you aren’t that close to your family
YWBTA to not be with family this year. They really need you.
If you need to go to gf’s, go the 26th. But, honestly, your family really needs to be together for your grandmother’s sake. This year of all years will be the hardest for her. Please stay home.
YTA. Don’t lie, first of all. Secondly, you do not have to meet your GF’s parents on Christmas Day. There’s no reason you can’t go meet them on the 26th. I’m sure your GF and her family will be very understanding about that.
WTF is your problem? Spend Christmas with your family and take another day(s) to hang out with your girlfriend during break.
And you want to make a good impression on your gf? Explaining how your grandfather just died and showing up at their home for Christmas will have the complete opposite effect,making you look like an insensitive, selfish AH. I’d advise my daughter to tread lightly with this relationship and keep it very casual.