I (21F) work in a medical office where I originally got my job through my mom. She wasn’t a manager at the time, just very experienced. I started at 18 with no training, was trained on the job, then went to school to get certified and stayed in school to further my education. I’m very grateful for the opportunity and genuinely love the field.
While I was away at school, the office hired another assistant, “Bailey” (36F, fake name). From the start, she’s been hostile toward me for no clear reason. We are in the exact same position, but she constantly bosses me around, is rude and demanding, talks badly about me behind my back, and takes her bad moods out on me by snapping or refusing to speak to me. She also frequently complains that no one helps her (which isn’t true, she often tries to push her work onto me) and expects sympathy because she’s “always going through something” (family, money, relationship issues).
I work part-time (about 15 hours/week), so I mostly ignored it for two years, but it’s exhausting. I vented to my mom occasionally before she became office manager, and she told me to ignore Bailey. A few months ago, my mom was promoted and now manages the office. I’ve tried not to complain since she’s my boss and I don’t want bias.
This past Friday pushed me over the edge. Fridays I usually help the front desk and assist in the back when needed (there’s limited space back there anyway). Bailey suddenly became snappy with me. Later, my mom told me I needed to stay in the back because Bailey complained that I “never help her.” Bailey never once asked me for help that day. I was upset that she went straight to management instead of talking to me.
At the end of the day, my mom scolded me, saying I “can’t give her ammo” and needed to stay ahead of Bailey’s complaints, which would require hovering constantly. I finally told my mom that the office functioned fine before Bailey, that she treats multiple assistants this way, and that I refuse to bend over backwards for someone who is rude and talks badly about me.
So, AITA for complaining and essentially reporting my coworker to my mom, who is also my boss?
Your mom (hopefully) is able to separate her role as your mom from her role as your boss. You should have complained about your co-worker ages ago, but I guess better late than never. NTA.
She’s complaining as much or more than you are. Sounds like you’re defending yourself more than anything. I don’t see any issue here. Either she goes or you go. This situation can’t be resolved another way.
NTA. Maybe if there is another person in a management position you could go to, that would be easier on both of you. But regardless of whether there is or isn’t, you’re not in the wrong for reporting reportable behavior to someone in management, even if that person is your mom.
NTA but you should start documenting all her behaviours. That way you look organized and reasonable and it’s not just “her word against yours”
Time to get a new job. But before you sign the contract let your mother know it’s Bailey or you and see what happens
Appropriate complaints don’t make you an a\*hole. Your mom is also in a tough situation and can’t appear to favor you. Try to find, and document, things that show she’s not doing her job.
Are there performance metrics that you can reference to say that Bailey isn’t doing her job? (It takes you and others 10 minutes to do something. It takes Bailey 30 minutes.)
Does she spend a lot of time on her phone or use her work computer for non-work tasks?
Does she regularly take long breaks or long lunches?
Changing jobs isn’t always a solution. There will be Baileys at the next job.
NTA but your mom is by not doing her job or at least going with you up there ladder to avoid bias, to stymie this toxic worker
YTA
“I was upset that she went straight to management instead of talking to me.” .. you did the same: The only difference: YOU are the nepo baby, they are not.